It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
by Quatermass
Summary: (Dumbledore bashing! Lovecraft Lite!) Exploring the Dursleys' attic led Harry to discovering a few hard truths. His mother is alive and well. She has been imprisoned for years. Oh, and did we mention she's none other than the Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep? Watch out, Magical Britain! Sanity's going bye-bye with this Outer God and her son...
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

While this isn't my first foray into the Cthulhu Mythos, it's one that I hope has more staying power after my disastrous attempt with my _Sekirei_ crossover _Madness, Chaos and Wagtails_ (which, if you want to read it, is available in _Quatermass' Compost Heap_ ). But like that one, this is a somewhat more humorous work, a bit like my vampire Lunar Harmony story _On the Delights of Drinking Blood_. This IS Lovecraft Lite, and while there will still be horror, there will also be elements strongly inspired or influenced by works like the light novel and anime series _Haiyore! Nyaruko-San_ or the webcomic _Ow! My Sanity_.

Anyway, time for the usual disclaimers. Firstly, there will be spoilers for both Harry Potter and the Cthulhu Mythos.

Secondly, there will be annotations, and a lot of them at that.

Thirdly, this is an M-rated work, for violence, language, dark themes, horror (this IS based on the Cthulhu Mythos, after all), and sexual references.

Finally, the following is a fan-written work. Harry Potter and the Cthulhu Mythos are the properties of their respective owners. Please support the official release. Otherwise, Cthulhu will want to make your acquaintance…intimately…


	2. Chapter 1: The Doom that Came to Little

**CHAPTER 1:**

 **THE DOOM THAT CAME TO LITTLE WHINGING**

Many things were forbidden to the young Harry Potter when he was growing up in the prison…sorry, _home_ of his relatives at 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. Some of those prohibitions fell away when he went to Hogwarts, but others remained in place. But with his being isolated by the people he had thought of as friends, at a time when he thought he needed it most, after Cedric's death, these edicts chafed at him more than ever.

And the weird dreams, too. Not just the nightmares, of Cedric, the graveyard, of Voldemort and the Death Eaters. No, these dreams of strange and horrifying creatures, dreams that were almost literally indescribable. They disturbed him, and yet, they drew him in, enthralled them in a bizarre way.

In any case, he was finding his ability to give a fuck about any of the strictures of the Dursleys lessening. And one of those that he had been dying to break was about the attic. The hatch had tempted him from a young age, though the one time he had tried to break it…his aunt had broken his arm.

Well, this time, he was going to find out what his aunt was hiding. Maybe it was something of his mother's that that bitch Petunia hadn't burnt. Maybe it was monies. Or maybe it was something his mother meant for Harry, but Petunia had kept away from him out of spite.

Or, it could be useless pieces of shit. Or maybe it was a deformed evil brother of Dudley (or wouldn't that make him the good twin, even if he was deformed?) kept in the attic because there was no room in the cupboard under the stairs, for obvious reasons? Harry had occasionally heard strange noises from the attic, after all.

So, when Vernon and Petunia went off to watch Dudley's boxing match, Harry took his chance. They'd be gone for a few hours at least. So once he was sure they were gone, he got out a stepladder, and clambered up to the hatch, ready to pull it down. He snarled quietly in pain as he whipped his hand away from the latch. When he touched the metal latch, it felt like an electric shock. Touching it again, though, got no such reaction. Must've been static or something.

He pulled the hatch down, and climbed up into the attic. Thankfully, he had thought to bring a torch as he moved through the dusty attic. An attic, he was sure, nobody had really been in for years. The dust was thicker than Dudley's skull, and that was saying something. He was surprised that Petunia hadn't ordered him to clean up here, given that they made him their own personal House Elf, but still…

There were piles and piles of junk. Some of it he recognised as detritus from Dudley's second room, the one he now occupied. Shit that the spoilt little fat brat had demanded, broken, and discarded, no matter how expensive it was. Harry recognised an old NES and a Sega Master System, a few action figures, a broken globe…all of it wasted on an ungrateful little bastard.

He hated it. He hated lacking power. He didn't want for fame over in Magical Britain, but that could easily turn to infamy, as his second year, as well as the Tri-Wizard Tournament, showed. But he had been so powerless. He had been forced to flee Voldemort with his tail between his legs…though he had to wonder why his mother didn't appear during that whole spectacular lightshow. That had been mildly disturbing. Did that mean his mother was alive somewhere? In a coma? Or had she abandoned him?

And he found himself becoming more and more misanthropic (wouldn't Hermione be surprised to learn he knew such a word?). And that had only increased the longer he went without letters from his so-called friends, despite them promising to write. No, they had left him in the dark, leaving him to Durzkaban, with no news of what was happening in Magical Britain.

He was preoccupied by such thoughts that he didn't notice the coffin until he had all but tripped over it. In fact, he actually did trip over it. As he lay sprawled on the lid, he felt a sharp pain shoot through his body, and he began to convulse and spasm as if being electrocuted. He couldn't even scream, all he could do was jerk and writhe.

Then, everything seemed to dissolve into an actinic light…

* * *

In the office of Albus Dumbledore, the Sorting Hat froze, before a smirk came over its 'lips'. Thankfully, Dumbledore was conspicuous by his absence, and only Fawkes was really present to see the smirk. "Do you feel what I feel, Feather Duster?"

Fawkes emitted a trill of both confirmation and annoyance, the latter directed at the rather tattered hat. "Well…someone is in a LOT of trouble…after all, the Crawling Chaos has been freed…"

* * *

Within the Department of Mysteries, the Veil uttered whispers. Whispers that sounded like milliards of souls hissing simultaneously, in the utmost terror and fear, _Oh_ _ **SHIT**_ …

* * *

Within the bowels of Azkaban, the bowels (or at least whatever passed for them) of the Dementors roiled and boiled. And for the first time in a very long time, though not long enough for them, the Dementors felt an emotion that they weren't exactly fans of.

Fear.

* * *

As she watched from the stands of the boxing ring, Petunia Dursley, top contender for Biggest Bitch of Little Whinging for over a decade, felt something like a cold chill run down her spine. And she knew, just knew, that something truly bad had just happened…and it wasn't the fact that her son had just lost a tooth…

* * *

Across the Earth, across the cosmos, vast beings barely comprehensible by human minds slumbered uneasily, knowing, even within the depths of their sleep, that one of their number had returned…though some slept uneasily because of eager anticipation…

* * *

" _Hurry, you fools!_ " snarled Ragnuk, the ruler of the Goblins, in Gobbledegook. " _If that one finds anything out of place, it will mean our uncertain doom!_ "

"… _Don't you mean certain doom, Lord Ragnuk?_ " asked another Goblin.

" _I know what I said, you imbecile! This is a being you do NOT want to piss off! This is no weakling wizard! This is an_ _ **Outer God!**_ "

* * *

In a dark house, a teenaged girl paused in the middle of reading a tome of eldritch lore. Why did she have this odd sensation?

* * *

If someone was in possession of a magical eye, they would have seen what looked like a tempest of magical energy, centred on 4 Privet Drive. A multi-coloured tornado that swirled around violently, like the diarrhoea of a rainbow swirling down a drain after being flushed down the toilet (and that metaphor is, officially, dead). Not enough to make the trees or bushes do more than sway, or the house to do more than creak a little, but that was because most of the magic was affecting things on a different plane of existence.

Of course, one of the watchers assigned to 4 Privet Drive was Mad-Eye Moody, and he could have seen this happen, and understood what it meant. However, he wasn't there. In fact, instead, the assigned watcher was one Mundungus Fletcher, a man who didn't really care about watching over the Boy Who Lived, being, instead, a dodgy spiv who preferred to either get drunk and pass out under an Invisibility Cloak, or else going off to make various dodgy deals.

It was the latter he was currently engaged in, trying to sell off some broomsticks that had fallen off the back of the Knight Bus, no questions asked or answered. Which meant that, when things happened, nobody was around to witness it. And while the events to follow could not be blamed entirely on him, he certainly could have notified someone, had he actually noticed something.

But he didn't…

* * *

Well, it was official. This had made it right to the top of the most painful experiences he had ever had. He never thought anything would be above being given the Cruciatus by Voldemort, or being bitten by a Basilisk. But what do you know? This actually succeeded in supplanting those.

He felt cool, soothing hands stroking his cheek. "My darling boy," he heard someone coo. A voice familiar to him from the memories dredged up by the Dementors' aura. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Harry's eyes flickered open, revealing that he was in the lap of a young, red-haired woman with emerald eyes. A beautiful woman, who looked very familiar. Well, she ought to be. She was his mother.

And…she was naked. And apparently not caring.

With a yelp of surprise, Harry shot off her lap, scooting backwards. "What…who…why…huh?" he stammered.

Lily Potter sighed, pouting slightly, before she snapped her fingers. Black shadows seemed to writhe across her body, and when they were done, she was dressed in a rather slinky, figure-hugging dress with a sort of dark cape or shawl along the back…which still managed to show some cleavage in the front(1). "There. Better?"

After a moment, Harry managed to engage his brain again, and said, "No. How…how can you possibly be still alive?"

"I think the better question is, why am I here?" Lily said. "Not that I can prove who I am to you. Not unless we go to Gringotts, anyway." She pursed her lips. "So, where should I begin? Well, when you fell across my little coffin, and things happened, I saw your memories, so I'll fill in the bits you don't know. It wasn't love that saved you from Voldemort, at least not directly. It was my love for you, true, that motivated me, but I had every intention of surviving that night. A little Killing Curse can't kill one such as me."

Harry had to wonder what she meant by that, but she continued. "Of course, I needed to put on a convincing act, so down I went. Then, Voldemort turned his wand on you. Now, had you been more grown, that wouldn't have inconvenienced you so much, but I had to awaken your powers enough to survive that night. Unfortunately, someone had other plans. I was sealed up in this coffin. Normally, such a thing would be a trifle to me, but unfortunately, awakening your power sapped a lot of mine, and on top of being hit with the Killing Curse…well, I wanted to keep this body. It has good sentimental value, you know?" Lily then cupped a breast briefly. "I mean, regenerating a body can be a real bitch, and well, I was betrayed, weakened beyond what I thought. So, I got locked away in the coffin. I was delivered up here, and every now and then, Petunia would have a good gloat at me. That's why she kept you out of the attic."

"Because I would free you?"

"Oh, that was entirely accidental. There are wards here keeping me in place, as well as restricting the entirety of your powers, powers that, well, they'd make the sheeple here turn on you in an instant. And those very wards were powered by your own powers. Really, the only thing that could keep beings like us imprisoned is the power of another such entity. A cruel irony, considering they used my son to do so. But, well, the funny thing was, I don't think that they tried hard enough to keep you out, save for a small ward you overloaded by accident. The runes work is pretty sloppy, and the arithmancy was done in a hurry. Oh, it was good stuff, but it'd have to be to keep us under control. But it was also done with some haste. Which'll be their downfall. You see, your power was used to power the wards keeping me here. But when you got close to the epicentre of the wards, making contact with my prison the way you did basically caused the equivalent of a short-circuit. I don't think they would have foreseen that. I certainly didn't. Rather annoying I didn't think of it first, but…well, I'm out now. And I'm mildly vexed."

"…Mildly vexed that you were kept in a coffin for nearly fifteen years?" Harry was on the verge of turning sixteen. And he would have thought that anyone would be more than mildly vexed at being imprisoned for so long.

"Oh yes. It's not the first time that it's happened, though it's the first time for a millennium or two. Bloody embarrassing when it happens, though. Which reminds me, **_never_** go on a pub crawl with someone with access to the actual _Necronomicon_. It never ends well."

"The Necro…nomicon?" Harry knew of that book. Out of boredom, he had read various books at the local library, one of his few retreats from the Dursleys. And that included the works of HP Lovecraft. Racist as all hell, and the language was pretty dry and overly long and lyrical, but Lovecraft did know how to make a good atmosphere. And he felt a feeling of dread crawl up his spine at the implications.

"Oh, you know? Well, this should be easy, even if Lovecraft deliberately misrepresented me. I swear, that stupid racist agelastic(2) bastard…I should never have agreed to those interviews. Anyway, I should really tell you who I really am, son. I'm not sure that you'd believe me, but, well, it's true." Lily grinned. "I'm your mother, Lily Evans, though most people know me as the Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep." She gave a little wave and a big grin. "Hi."

This proved to be too much for Harry. Understandably, he fainted, the last thing he heard before the darkness of unconsciousness consumed him was his mother saying, "Was it something I said?"

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Oh dear. Lily Evans was really Nyarlathotep? And Harry's powers were used to imprison her? So, who imprisoned her? Well, let's find out…**

 **The whole reaction thing was partly based on my** ** _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_** **two-shot crossover** ** _Puella Magi Luna Magica_** **. I wholeheartedly recommend it, if only because you get to see Kyuubey getting owned by Luna.**

 **1\. I was thinking something along the lines of Salem's outfit from** ** _RWBY_** **.**

 **2\. An agelast is someone who is not known to laugh or show any mirth. TV Tropes' picture of Lovecraft shows him trying, and failing miserably, to smile.**


	3. Chapter 2: My Mother Can't Possibly Be

**CHAPTER 2:**

 **MY MOTHER CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE CRAWLING CHAOS!**

Harry woke up to the smell of cooking, his nostrils twitching. He found himself, much to his confusion, on the lounge. And he could hear merry whistling from the kitchen. With some trepidation, wondering whether this was a dream or a nightmare, he walked into the kitchen.

"Well, this isn't a dream or a nightmare," the voice of his mother said, wearing an apron as she fried bacon and eggs in the frying pan on the stove. The apron had, on the front, what looked to be the Sign of Hastur. "Believe me, I know. I've done my share of trekking through them, even if Lovecraft got that crap with Carter wrong. Sorry, I was feeling a mite peckish. I mean, technically, I don't need to eat, but when you've been cooped up for almost fifteen years in a coffin, you get the oddest cravings. And I want cholesterol and protein. Pregnancy's worse, though. Have you ever wanted Shoggoth soup? That's not as easy as going down to Tesco's or Marks and Spencer for it. Anyway, you want any? I mean, I was going to have it all, but I can share."

Harry looked at the veritable mountain of bacon and eggs she had cooked already, sitting in a veritable mountain on a platter. It was almost as big as a Dalek, and probably just as deadly, even if only in the long term. "Uhhh…I won't say no to a little?"

"Sure. Anything for my son. Now, I know what you're thinking. Why, oh why, aren't I appearing as some sinister-looking Egyptian? Well, I can shapeshift, I get bored. I like a bit of variety. And having breasts. Plus, Lovecraft pretty much ground that whole evil Pharaoh thing into the dust, and I wanted to experience a human life, more or less. Like I said, I get bored. I mean, I'm so old, if I had an affair with Nicholas Flamel, I'd be seen as cradle snatching." She pursed her lips. "Now there's a thought. Maybe I should look the Flamels up, see if they're still open to having a threesome."

In an attempt not to think of his mother as being involved in a threesome with the Flamels, Harry said, "…Actually, they're dead."

"No, they're **_not_**. I saw your memories, but Dumbledore probably fed you BS. Or, more likely, they fed **_him_** BS. The Flamels aren't likely to have given him a real Philosopher's Stone. Considering I was the one who gave it to them in the first place, I'd be really annoyed if they did."

Harry shook his head. "And how the hell could you be the Crawling Chaos? There's no way you can be! I mean, always assuming that this isn't some Death Eater trick!"

"If it was a Death Eater trick, you'd probably be in Voldemort's hands, under the Cruciatus by now. Incidentally, I'm proud of you with what you did during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Facing off against a dragon is no mean feat when you have only the power of a human mage," Lily said. "And what you did when fighting Voldemort. Of course, if you had full access to your power, well, you would have squashed him like a cockroach beneath your foot. Squish."

Harry didn't know what to say to that, sitting down shakily at the dining room table. Lily finished her cooking, and brought over the platter. She gave Harry a serving, and then brought the platter over to herself. "Sorry, this is going to be more than a little disturbing," she confessed, before her mouth distended in an _OH THAT'S SO VERY_ _ **WRONG**_ _ON SO MANY_ _ **LEVELS**_ way, and the bacon and eggs began going into her _OH_ _ **GOD**_ _WHAT IS THAT_ _ **THING**_ _IS THAT EVEN A_ _ **MOUTH?!**_ at high speed. Accompanied by a noise that sounded like the organic version of a _WHAT THE ACTUAL_ _ **HELL**_ _IS THAT_ _ **NOISE?!**_ vacuum cleaner. Then, it was over, and she was belching softly, her mouth back to normal. "Excuse me," she said.

Harry looked down at his plate, and then gingerly cut up his meal. Oddly enough, what he just saw didn't affect his appetite. Well, not enough to deter him from eating it, anyway. Actually, he was quite ravenous.

"Sorry about that," Lily said, patting her **_HOW_** _IN THE WORLD IS_ _ **IT**_ _NOT_ _ **DISTENDED?!**_ belly. "I was just so hungry, and, well, I didn't have the patience to do it any other way. I'm sure this is a shock, that learning that Lovecraft was…somewhat right, in broad strokes…and that your mother is Nyarlathotep."

"I can believe you're…something," Harry said.

"Hmm, maybe I shouldn't tell you about your father yet," Lily mused. "That's only going to make things worse. Long story short, James Potter isn't your father, partly because James was shooting blanks. He didn't know it, and I didn't see fit to enlighten him. I just put a special glamour onto you so you'd look like him. I'll have to wait until you are used to things before I tell you who daddy really is."

Harry nodded, only for the door to open in the distance. "BOY! YOU'D BETTER NOT BE STEALING ANY OF OUR FOOD!" bellowed Vernon after a brief pause.

"You haven't been stealing enough," Lily muttered darkly. And as the Dursleys entered, and saw Lily, her eyes **_FLASHED_** _WARPED_ _ **SCINTILLATED**_ _GLOWED_ _ **PULSED**_ strobed all the colours of the **_WHAT_** _WAS THAT_ _ **COLOUR?!**_ rainbow. They instantly collapsed, convulsing briefly, before subsiding.

"…Why did everything taste purple just then?" Harry asked.

"Oh, it was basically the mental equivalent of a stun grenade," Lily said. "I think I overdid it with my brother-in-law and my nephew. I knew my sister would probably have just enough intelligence and willpower to overwhelm a more casual attack, but…" She sniffed the air, and scowled. "Hmm. Vernon and Dudley have shit themselves. Maybe I've given them a stroke."

With that rather dark pronouncement, Lily strutted over, and pulled Petunia off the floor by the throat with one hand, and her scowl deepened. "Oh, so you did it too? This is not the time to join the Brown Trousers Club, my dear sister. That comes later." She gestured, and the dark stain on Petunia's dress disappeared. She then pulled Petunia over to another chair at the dining room table, and snapped her fingers twice. The first time, ropes secured Petunia to the chair. The second time, Petunia woke up. Her eyes narrowed upon seeing Lily, only for her eyes to bulge, and she vomited onto the table.

"Side effects of having your mind flayed may include nausea, myalgia, neuralgia, nostalgia, general delirium, incontinence, constipation, gastric reflux, and halitosis. If symptoms persist, see your doctor," Lily said cheerfully. "Hello, Tuney. I thought we'd have a talk."

Petunia glared at Harry. "You…you ungrateful little idiot! You went into the attic! You don't know what you've unleashed upon the world!"

"My mother," Harry said coldly. While part of him felt uneasy at this, another part of him remembered that this was the woman who starved him, hit him, looked on smugly as Vernon and Dudley beat the shit out of him.

"T-T-T-T-T," Lily said, tutting to get Petunia's attention. "Eyes on me, Tuney. Well, unless you'd like to look my son in the eyes and apologise for what you did to him."

"I will never apologise. It's not a crime to imprison a monster," Petunia sneered. "And what you and the boy are…you're even worse than monsters."

"Oh? I thought you'd be grateful, given the fact that it's only thanks to me that you had a baby sister."

"You are not my sister! My sister was miscarried, and my parents turned to the likes of **_you_** in their desperation! They sacrificed their magic, MY magic, in exchange for bringing you back to life!"

"See, Harry?" Lily asked. "This is why Tuney hates us both. Not because Howard gave me a bad write-up, but because she lost her magic…and I still had some. All because our parents wanted me to live."

"You are NOT Lily! You're just a devil my parents were tricked into giving a body!" Petunia screeched.

"I'm partly Lily. You can't wear the flesh of a human without taking on some of it. Not that you'd know. You're barely even human. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I am a cruel bitch. The things I've done for the hell of it…well, Howard got some things right. But really, Tuney? You weren't so smart, coming to my coffin and gloating like you did."

"The old goat said you'd be imprisoned in there forever!" Petunia sneered. "Dumbledore promised! He promised you'd be there forever and ever and EVER!" She then turned to Harry, and her sneer worsened. "Well, until you **_died_**. Then, the prison would become permanent. Goes to show I shouldn't have trusted the old goat!"

Harry stared at Petunia. " _What_ ," he said flatly.

"Oh _yes_ ," Petunia sneered. She was all but foaming at the mouth. "The old goat left you here, as the bars to this _monster's_ prison! Obviously, he didn't do a good enough job if you managed to get out!"

"You're showing a lot of bravado for a woman who's dead, even if she hasn't stopped breathing yet," Lily said.

"Oh, Dumbledore will have all sorts of alarms and things! And he'll be here to put you back where you belong!"

"If he was going to come here, he'd have been here long ago. And there's a distinct lack of goats, I think. Speaking of which, I really DO need to give Shubby a call. She's probably worried." She sighed quietly. "Well, given that I have probably been crueller than you overall over my eons of existence, I'd be hypocritical if I chided you for your cruelty…but I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. Anyway, imprisoning me cannot go unpunished, Tuney. I'm an Outer God, not a bloody djinn in a bottle. Then I'd be a djinn and tonic." There was no laughter at the bad pun, albeit from an audience of two. "No? Tough crowd. You're worse than when I tried to make Howard laugh. It took me slipping on a dog crap in a park for him to even smirk. And by Azathoth, that was horrifying. Seriously, normally he can't smile, and when he does, you know why that is. That smile could make Hastur pee himself, so it's a good thing he's the King in Yellow. Anyway, my point is, Tuney, I actually _tried_ to be a good sister to you. I _wanted_ to make you happy. And while I can't please everyone…you showed a remarkable lack of gratitude in keeping me prisoner and treating my son, a prince amongst the Outer Gods, like a slave."

"And? You are a monster. No, worse than that," Petunia sneered. She opened her mouth to continue, only to be unable to talk.

"Bored now," Lily said in a singsong tone. "You know, I've had plenty of time to think about what sort of punishment you deserve, Tuney, you and your family. After all, one should repay hospitality in kind. I had plenty of time to think in that coffin. One thing you should remember is that I get bored easily, and when you spend over a decade in a coffin, unable to do pretty much anything about that boredom, it's rather unpleasant, to say the least. So, here's what I'm going to do. You and your family are going to be found dead some time tomorrow, going out on an outing. Maybe a picnic or something, I'll figure it out. Someone killed you, maybe I could fake a Death Eater attack. But the thing is, while your bodies will be dead…your souls will be bound to your dead bodies. You'll be able to feel them decaying as you rot within your coffins. You can't move, you can't do anything but wait until your souls are released from your bodies, which they won't do until your bones are dust. And that can take a very long time. Decades, centuries…well, it may not be proportionate, but damn if it won't satisfy me."

Harry saw that Petunia's eyes flickered over to him, wide with fear, pleading with him. For a moment, he was moved, and he very nearly asked this…thing that claimed to be his mother to stop this. But then, he remembered the pitiless, merciless beatings, the abuse, the claims that his parents were drunkards and as worthless as he was. And the fact that she had imprisoned his mother, though he was trying not to think about how Petunia claimed that Dumbledore was involved. He was too overwhelmed by this whole situation, that his mother was the Crawling Chaos, to even think of protesting.

"You might want to look away, sweetie," Lily said. "I'm going to use my powers again, and you might be a bit disturbed."

Harry looked away, and so only saw a brief strobe of what looked like something from a black light, like those used to make certain paints glow in the dark. Then, he looked back, and Petunia was no longer tied up, though she was staring rather vacantly at nothing.

"Okay. Now that I've set the garbage out for collection, it's about time we went home," Lily said. Her tone then became more solemn, more gentle. More _caring_. "Come on, Harry. Let's go home…"

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Lily's revenge has just started. But will Harry be a willing participant? And will he be willing to come into his own with his powers?**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	4. Chapter 3: Home Sweet Eldritch Home

**CHAPTER 3:**

 **HOME SWEET ELDRITCH HOME**

Given everything that had happened over the past few hours or so, according to Harry's watch, he was understandably somewhat adrift. So being taken through a dimensional portal into the home of the Crawling Chaos hadn't quite registered yet. He guessed he was still in shock.

Probably the most shocking thing about the house wasn't the MC Escher-like architecture: he expected that at a bare minimum. And he had seen that sort of thing while watching _Labyrinth_ once. But he wasn't expecting relatively normal décor. The living room he was currently sitting on the sofa of, well, apart from having furniture on the walls and the ceiling it was surprisingly…mundane. And that reassured him.

There were also some photos on the walls. One had a tall, imposing black man grinning, showing off bone-white teeth in a smile that was as full of malice as it was by mirth. He was standing next to a rather dour, lugubrious-looking European man who most definitely wasn't smiling, and a pair of fingers were poking themselves up from behind the European's head. Like bunny ears. With a start, Harry realised a few things. One, the photo was both in colour, and moving. Two, he recognised the European. It was a photo of HP Lovecraft. Which meant that the man standing next to him, the one doing the bunny ears prank, was…his mother…except back when she looked like an Egyptian pharaoh.

Next to that one was a more cheerful photo. A dark-haired man wearing glasses stood next to a girl in her late teens with red hair and green eyes. They were both smiling, and showing off a first edition copy of _The Stand_. With a start, Harry recognised the man in this photo, standing next to his then-apparently-teenaged mother, but it wasn't James Potter. It was Stephen King.

It was at that point that Lily strutted in, carrying a tea tray. Now, instead of the dress, she was dressed in a black shirt and jeans. The shirt had an Egyptian-style eye. "I've just gotten off the phone to Shubby. She'll be around soon. Oh, I see you've noticed my little selfie gallery."

"…Selfie?"

"It's a term that'll come up in the future, apparently," Lily said with a shrug. "I, along with a few others, can see possible futures, albeit dimly. I couldn't see my betrayal coming, though. I'm not omniscient or omnipotent. Anyway, as you can tell, Howard, or HP Lovecraft as most people knew him, was a real barrel of laughs. I had more fun with another Howard, Robert Howard. But Stephen…well, he's pretty interesting for a human. I should go and say hi later. I really should catch up on what he's written, too. Okay, _The Stand_ didn't exactly paint me in a flattering light, but Randall Flagg is actually cool."

"...Okay. So, where's a photo of Dad?"

"Your biological father, or James Potter?" Lily sighed, reclining on the sofa. "I don't think you're quite ready to know about your biological father yet. Well, not that biology means much when an Outer God and a Great Old One have a kid. Your real form is not really human any more than mine is, but, well, I'm sure this is hard on you, so I won't force you to assume any form than the one you're used to."

"Then what about James?"

"That's a very long story, and not one I'm sure you want to hear a lot of. I will give you some edited highlights. James wasn't my first love: Severus Snape was."

Harry couldn't help but laugh in sheer disbelief at that. "You what?"

"No, really. He thought, at the time, that I was just a human witch. Oh, he found out the truth, and didn't hold it against me…no, we parted ways over another incident. James, well, while I found the Marauders interesting, I didn't think much of him, and after my break-up with Snape, I criticised one of his pranks. He dared me to do better, and I did. He actually changed for the better, or so I thought. I really should have made more of an effort to get Remus out of his pity party, in retrospect. He should have made more of an effort to adopt you, but…given how these morons treat werewolves, even those who are decent people…"

Lily's musings were interrupted by a voice. "I'm here, Lily!" Through one of the doors strode a rather robust and maternal-looking woman, apparently African, wearing a colourful dress(1). "Hey, Lily. Long time no see!" she said with a grin, her accent having the drawl of the South. She then looked over at Harry. "And ooh, how he's grown. Admittedly, he's a bit scrawny, but I'm sure you can fix that now that you're out."

Lily gave the other woman a hug. "Shubby…really, it's good to see you."

"Likewise. I had this notion you were sealed, somehow, but I couldn't find you," the woman said. "I got this notion Harry might've been left with those relatives of his, but I couldn't get close to him. I can now, though. Lemme guess, Dumbledore?"

"Dumbledore. Anyway, Harry, this is Shub-Niggurath, though she prefers 'Shubby' to those who know her. Like me, Howard misrepresented her."

"Yeah, well, he didn't exaggerate with you that much. Just made you more evil," Shubby said, making a face. "But with me…well, anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Harry couldn't help but give a nervous smile at meeting Shub-Niggurath, the infamous Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young. Though she seemed a little more warm and less manic than his mother. "Umm, nice to meet you too, I guess?"

"Poor thing, it must be overwhelming for him," Shubby said, pursing her lips.

"I'm sure," Lily said.

"What next, Cthulhu?" Harry asked.

They both winced. "No," Lily said firmly. "I did exaggerate a little when I said Howard gave us all bad press."

"What your mother means to say is, we entities, the ones he spoke of as Outer Gods, Great Old Ones, and the like, the ones like us are in the minority. Most are wholly indifferent to humanity. Others actively seek their destruction," Shubby said. "You have to realise, humans are one species on one small speck of rock, water and air in frankly a backwater part of a backwater galaxy. To them, humans are like ants, and they are equally indifferent to stepping on them. Some enjoy being worshipped by humans. Lily here has had more cults to her name alone, and she's run half of them."

"Girl's got to have a hobby," Lily said.

"But we, well, we look at things differently. I've been known under more than a few names in my time. Name a fertility goddess in history, and odds are, it's probably me, or I've given the priests and priestesses ideas. And I've given desperate mothers who worship me the gift of fertility and many children. Yog-Sothoth isn't too bad, that little incident in Dunwich aside, and Hastur too, if you're on good terms with him, though he likes driving people insane. Short trip, in some cases. Just because you're not human in body doesn't mean you can't be one in spirit. Lily won't expect you to sprout tentacles and too many eyes."

"Hey, you know as well as I do that while having hundreds of limbs sounds cool, it actually gets pretty unwieldy after a while, Shubby," Lily said. "Plus, too many eyes means more soft things to poke. Hey, apropos of nothing, wasn't one of your biggest worshippers Molly Weasley?"

"Hmm? Oh, right, yes! Well, the Prewitts were. Actually, their neighbour offered to adopt a Shoggoth runt from me. And now it's grown into a fine young girl. A bit eccentric, but more intelligent than most Shoggoths."

"Let me guess…the Lovegoods?"

"Well, yes. You know the ritual you used to fuse yourself with Lily Evans when she was stillborn? I used the same thing with their daughter, who was dying…"

* * *

"Eeeet puddiiiing! Sooo cooool(2)!"

Xenophilus Lovegood sighed quietly. He loved his little all-consuming slime, he really did. She was the light of his life, especially since his wife died in a ritual gone badly wrong (it was covered up as a spellcrafting accident, but it was an attempt to try and find out where Lily Potter, aka Nyarlathotep, had gone). But sometimes, she was a bit of a trial. "Now, my little radish, while it's good to see you eating up every last bit of pudding, it is rude manners to put your feet up on the table and absorb the pudding through your toes."

Luna pouted. "But it's more fun that way. Doing it only through the mouth is _boring_. And I don't get to play with my food at Hogwarts."

"True, but remember, our neighbours are not so open-minded. Well, except maybe for Molly and a few of her brood. Incidentally, did you feel that disturbance earlier?"

"Hmm, that depends. Do you mean the indigestion I got from eating that gnome, or the energy that possibly heralds the release of the Crawling Chaos?"

"…The second one, obviously, though I have told you not to eat gnomes. You know they repeat on you."

"Yeeeesss, but they taste sooooo gooooood," Luna pouted again. "Besides, if jarveys(3) can eat them, then so can I."

* * *

"A Shoggoth is one of the students at Hogwarts," Harry said flatly. "Is there a Deep One there as well? I didn't see anyone rocking the Innsmouth Look, unless you count the mermaids in the Black Lake."

"Deep Ones are like people. There are the bad ones, and the good ones, and the Innsmouth ones…well, they're just weird, what with the inbreeding," Lily said. Then, with a snort, she added, "Not unlike many of the Purebloods, then."

"Speaking of which, the Blood Purists are tightening their grip on society. Oh, incidentally, have you seen the latest copies of the _Prophet_ , Harry?" Shubby asked.

"Umm, no. Why? Do you read it?"

"Yes. I followed your adventures during the Tri-Wizard Tournament with interest, and thought, you would be making your mother proud. And your father. But, well…the press are a fickle lot, especially when they're practically the mouthpiece of the government. This won't be easy for you to hear, but I guess you've spent a good chunk of your life being fed manure and kept in the dark. The upshot is, Fudge is denying that Voldemort is back, and claims that you are an attention-seeking deluded brat, and that Dumbledore is a senile old codger with designs on becoming Minister of Magic."

Lily snorted as Harry stared at Shubby in disbelief. "As if he needed that. Between being headmaster of Hogwarts and being Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Supreme Mugwump of the ICW, he doesn't need any more power. Dumbledore's not the sort to rule overtly, even if he was a megalomaniac. He flirted with that at about the time he flirted with Grindlewald, but he prefers using influence. But that's a talk for another time."

"I agree. Too many revelations can bend or break minds, even if they're not the sort of revelations humans weren't meant to know," Shubby said. "The upshot is, most of the public looks askance at you. Some even believe you to be responsible for Cedric Diggory's death. And that's the way the Death Eaters want it. A lot of the richer ones line Fudge's pockets, as you well know. And they whisper in his ear. And his Senior Undersecretary is worse."

"Shubby, who is the Senior Undersecretary?" Lily asked.

"Apparently she was in Slytherin at the same time as Snape was. Her name is Dolores Umbridge. AKA the Umbitch, AKA the Batrachian Bitch…I swear, I think she's descended from Tsathoggua, given how much she resembles a toad. Or maybe her ancestors came from Innsmouth. She might just have the Innsmouth Look, at a stretch. She's a Halfblood pretending to be a Pureblood scion, puts out anti-werewolf legislation that has made it too hard for the honest ones to get work, and she espouses Blood Purity values that'd make your skin crawl. And I've heard rumours that she absolutely detests Harry."

Lily frowned. "I know her name, but not much…oh, wait. I remember her. By my father, she does look like a descendant of Tsathoggua!"

"…Your father?"

"She means Azathoth, the Nuclear Chaos," Shubby said. "You don't have to visit him. He's not all there in the head…well, not that he has what you'd call a head. Lily basically acts as his herald when she's not moonlighting for other Outer Gods. Actually, are you going to have Harry act as your herald?"

"Why not? It ought to be amusing," Lily said.

"Uh, what?" Harry asked, not liking the sound of that.

Lily waved a hand. "Oh, it's nothing major. Just go to people when they summon me, work out deals…I don't do the whole human sacrifice thing anymore, or accepting souls, that draws too much attention. I'll probably have to give you a crash course on how to deal with summoners…oh, bugger. I've probably got one hell of a backlog!"

"I handled that, Lily. I knew they'd hate being kept on hold for years, so I worked some out on your behalf," Shubby said. "I probably owe you, though, given the amount of deals I've made with your summoners. Then again, considering a lot of them just wanted to get laid, well, it's no big deal. Oh! I almost forgot! Stephen sent me a bunch of signed first editions of his books! He made Flagg into one of the main antagonists in a series called _The Dark Tower_. I told him you had gone AWOL. And there's a few films made based on his books that you've missed. You should see Tim Curry as Pennywise in _It_."

"Really? Thanks, Shubby. Better you than a certain squid-faced moron," Lily said, sighing in relief.

Harry watched their byplay in bemusement. All this was new to him, and confusing. One thing he knew, though. He wasn't sure what to think anymore, especially with these accusations levelled against Dumbledore. But what could he do? After all, wasn't this what he always wanted? His family back? And hadn't Dumbledore sent him back to the Dursleys, time and time again, in spite of his protests?

Of course, there was the confusion in learning that two of the most infamous members of the Cthulhu Mythos were so…human. Including the woman claiming to be his mother. Could he actually trust them?

Could he trust himself?

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Harry's home, and he's met Shubby, who was inspired by her portrayal in** ** _Ow! My Sanity_** **, though I have done my own spin on her. With apologies to Adam J Thaxton.**

 **1\. It was rather hard thinking of a woman who could play Shub-Niggurath with the humanity and maternal air I wanted to give her. I eventually thought of CCH Pounder, and how she portrayed Dr Loretta Wade in** ** _NCIS: New Orleans_** **.**

 **2\. This is a reference to the Shoggoth Girl from** ** _Ow! My Sanity_** **, who says, "Eeet food! Sooo cooool!" And the 'so cool' bit is actually** ** _Ow! My Sanity_** **'s reference to the Shoggoths of** ** _The Unspeakable Vault (of Doom)_** **.**

 **3\. If you've read the book** ** _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_** **, you'd know this.**


	5. Chapter 4: An Unexpected Summoning

**CHAPTER 4:**

 **AN UNEXPECTED SUMMONING**

It was after dinner (which was surprisingly mundane) that Harry sat down with his mother. Shubby had gone home for now, wherever home was for Shub-Niggurath. He knew he was going to have to ask his mother some hard questions about Dumbledore, and his father…or at least James Potter.

They were sitting on the couch again, the room dim, lit by firelight. It was a mundane setting, which made everything else so surreal. He had a mother again…and she was fucking Nyarlathotep!

Still, he only briefly shied away from her hug as she sat next to him, drawing him closer to her. She was so warm. And he drew succour from that.

"Harry," she said quietly, "I know you're going through a lot. We're probably going to have rows about a lot of things. You've looked up to Dumbledore and your father all your life, but…you're going to hear things about them you may not want to hear."

"I hear enough about my father from Snape," Harry said with a scowl. "And if he knew about you, why didn't he…"

"Treat you nicely? Well, it could be that he's bitter about me breaking up our friendship…but in truth, I reinstated it shortly after he joined the Death Eaters. He pledged to become my spy in their camp…and later, in Dumbledore's. It may be that Dumbledore did something to him. Severus was very like that when young, but not quite so bitter or twisted. And don't get me wrong. I don't think Dumbledore was evil to begin with. I just think the power and fame that people gave him just went to his head. And as an Outer God, I can see dimly across different realities. He's not a bad person in many of them. Manipulative and loves to hoard information…but he's not a bad man there. Here, though…perhaps I should start at the beginning, when things went badly wrong. Dumbledore never told you the exact reason Voldemort came after us. It's true, we had been a thorn in his side, time and time again. I had to use my powers sparingly, lest I gain too much attention from the Ministry of Magic…or the Order of the Phoenix. That's a vigilante group Dumbledore formed to fight Voldemort. But what really had Voldemort come after us…was a prophecy."

"A prophecy?"

"Remember at the end of your third year, when Trelawney made her prophecy? Dumbledore said, truthfully, that that was only the second such prophecy she had made, a true one. The first one claimed that, at the end of July, one who would have the power to vanquish Voldemort for good would be born to those who 'thrice defied him'. This would include you, and Neville Longbottom. Now, I had heard about it on the grapevine. Seers have hotlines to beings like us. I think Trelawney sometimes gets visions from Yog-Sothoth. He probably thought it was funny as hell to have me targeted. Anyway, Snape was listening in, and heard the prophecy. He was caught, but he contacted me covertly. We decided to set a trap for Voldemort. Snape would lure Voldemort to us by playing up the briar patch routine, and I would vanquish the bastard until I could find out how he made himself immortal. But that's when things went wrong. You see, it was about that time that James found out not only did I have you with another…but he also found out what I was. He pretended to be enthusiastic, but in reality, he went behind my back to tell Dumbledore. I only found out later, on the very eve of Voldemort's attack. And by that point…it was almost too late."

"Too late?"

"Dumbledore had suggested a family cottage at Godric's Hollow as a hideout, under the Fidelius. I accepted, not knowing that he had already prepared the place with wards designed to subtly drain my strength. By the time I noticed, it was October 30, and I had a premonition that I would need to awaken your power. But I saw that my reserves were getting too low, and after I found the wards, I confronted James. He gloated, thinking I was too weak to fight back, and I played it up, until he confessed everything. I managed to take control of him, and knew I had to make preparations for both of us. Then, Voldemort arrived, and I used James Potter as a distraction while I began the ritual to awaken your power, to allow us to survive. I pretended to die to the Killing Curse, but by that point, it still took a lot out of what was left of my reserves. I was left comatose in the backlash of your powers stopping Voldemort. Then, I found myself in a coffin, being taken by Dumbledore to the Dursleys. Petunia later gloated about what he did to me: in effect, he drained off your power as part-Outer God, part-Great Old One, to power my prison, your magic also helping it. Dumbledore planned for you to die, and your soul would be bound to 4 Privet Drive to imprison me for eternity."

Harry looked over at his mother. He should have felt outrage or anger at her for what sounded like an egregious lie. Petunia could even have been manipulated into 'confessing'. But now, what he felt was dead, flat. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"I'd be more offended, but…you've really only known me for a day…and you know me as Nyarlathotep as well, and, well, I'll be the first to admit that I've lied a lot in my very long lifetime, for shits and giggles. I could even show you my memories in a Pensieve…but I don't know whether you'd believe them…and I could fake a vow on my life and magic pretty well."

"You're not helping your case," Harry said.

"How can I help it, then?"

"…Can I count on anyone?" Harry asked. "I mean, if they found out I'm the son of bloody Nyarlathotep…how soon before they turn on me? They did so easily last year."

"…You'd be surprised. Molly Weasley is Shubby's acolyte. She'd set Ron straight. Hermione, well, her authority worship and quixotic crusade for the House Elves aside…she's devoted to you, Harry. She was the one who believed in you, who helped you, when nobody else would last year. You know, when you start your own cult, she can be your High Priestess…"

* * *

In a dark room in the basement of 12 Grimmauld Place, a bushy-haired teenaged girl sneezed, while in the middle of drawing on the floor…

* * *

"Sirius and Remus are open-minded enough about such things…I hope." Lily shook her head. "I wish I could tell you everything will be fine, that everything I tell you will not be falsehood…but I won't. Yes, what I told you was truth…but I can't promise you that everything I tell you is. Think of it this way: by freeing me, you did me a boon, not knowing I was your mother. Therefore, I will grant you one in return."

"Will you always be truthful?"

"I can't promise you that. But…would you trust the Sorting Hat and Fawkes?"

Harry actually thought about that, before he realised he probably would. "But why?"

Lily smiled, before calling out, "Fawkes? Bring Sebastian(1)."

"Sebastian?"

There was a sudden flare of flame, and Fawkes appeared with a song, and with the Sorting Hat in his talons. "She means me, kid," the Hat said.

Fawkes nodded, before he seemed to shimmer and warp…and became a slender, androgynous-looking man with fire-red hair and golden eyes. "My lady," he said. "It is good to see you free once more. Unfortunately, I could do little to help Harry, due to the geases placed upon me by Dumbledore."

"Fawkes?" Harry asked.

"That is the name given to me by headmasters past. My true name is somewhat unpronounceable, but I am one of the emissaries of Cthugha(2)."

"And what about you, 'Sebastian'?" Harry asked.

"What? Oh, no, I ain't related to an Outer God or a Great Old One, or anything like that. I'm just a smartarsed hat," Sebastian said.

"…And is it true? Did Dumbledore imprison my mother?" he asked quietly.

Fawkes nodded solemnly, conjuring up what looked like a crystal tumbler filled with bourbon in it. "I wish I could have told you sooner, but Dumbledore bound me most thoroughly. I managed to save your life from the Basilisk venom, but he only allowed that because he didn't want you to die yet."

"Sebastian…Fawkes…has Dumbledore tinkered with Snape's memories?" Lily asked.

Fawkes nodded once more, sipping from his tumbler. "Erased memories of you being Nyarlathotep, instilled a whole debt-to-your-memory thing, had him hate Harry…well, Snape would have resented Harry a little anyway. If only because, well, he wasn't his son."

"Fawkes, drinking so much petrol can't be healthy for you," Lily admonished(3).

"I'm an emissary of a Great Old One," Fawkes said. "Physical health doesn't mean much to me."

"Yeah, speaking of Great Old Ones and physical health…how do you think his old man is going to react to the death of the Basilisk?" Sebastian said.

Lily froze, before eventually shaking her head. "Harry will get a pass for a number of reasons. Firstly, he's his father's son. Secondly, the Basilisk, from what I saw in his memories, had been driven mad by isolation, and Voldemort's orders didn't help. Thirdly, a Basilisk that couldn't recognise the authority Harry wielded over Voldemort, even while sealed, is a traitor to his father."

"What do you mean, authority?" Harry asked.

"She means your Parseltongue abilities, Harry," Fawkes said. "Dumbledore claimed that was because Voldemort passed some of his abilities to you. In a way, that could have been true. You had a Horcrux in your head until recently."

"A Horcrux?" Harry asked.

"A phylactery," Lily explained. "A soul container. Basically, you undergo a pretty nasty ritual, and then, after that, you kill someone in cold blood. Because of the ritual and your cold-blooded murder, you fracture your soul, and you can put half of it into a container. So, when your mortal body dies, your soul is bound to this plane. Of course, when you freed me, I was kind of peckish, and while I don't normally eat souls, I ate it. Ugh, it nearly repeated on me. I really shouldn't have been so hasty, there are rituals I could have used to find the other Horcruxes." A tinny burst of music came from Lily's jeans, and she fished out a slim, metal and plastic oblong.

"Lily, what have I said about taking technology from possible futures?" Fawkes said wearily.

"I'm an Outer God, Fawkes. Basically, that translates to 'I can do what I want, as who can stop me'," Lily said.

"…Isn't that _It's the End of the World As We Know It?_ " Harry asked, bemused.

"Yep. It's my ringtone." She answered it. "Hi, Shubby, what's up?" She frowned. "Already? Look, I'm in the middle of…oh? Is that who's doing the summoning?" She looked over at Harry, and then grinned. It was not a reassuring grin. In fact, as Harry grew to knew his mother, he would come to know that as her trolling face. "Actually, that sounds perfect. She'll be the perfect person for my son to go out and be my herald for the first time. No, I'm not kidding. Incidentally, how was the quality of the summoning? Ooh, that good. I can see why a certain someone thinks of her so highly. Okay, I'm sending Harry there forthwith. Talk to you later, Shubby." She hung up, and gave Harry that grin again.

"…Why do I have a sudden feeling of impending dread?" Harry asked.

"Oh, you'll be fine." Lily snapped her fingers, and suddenly, Harry was now dressed in a cloak so black, it was like the event horizon of a black hole, drinking in all light. "Anyway, someone's summoned me to gain power and knowledge. It's been a while, and I don't feel like missing out on socialising with Sebastian and Fawkes, so…you're it. Consider this training. Plus, you've got to earn your pocket money."

"… _I haven't ever gotten it_ ," Harry said. The hood was up, and his voice was now a deep, thunderous rumble, albeit a quiet one.

"Oh, right." Lily gestured, and a bar of solid gold appeared. "This is yours, but you'll have to earn it. Now, remember, we don't generally do the buying souls thing, and…well, you're a bit young to get involved in the sexual deals. But I'm sure you can work it out. Oh, and when you're done, just click your shoes together and say, _there's no place like home_."

Any further protest or questions Harry had were snuffed out when he felt everything change…

* * *

He had to admit, apart from the disturbing, rippling darkness he was going through, this was easily the most comfortable means of magical transportation. Better than the Floo, than Portkeys or the Knight Bus. It was better than Apparition, he was sure, even if he hadn't experienced that yet.

And then, he heard the words, spoken in a quiet but urgent incantation.

" _I-ay, I-ay Naghaa, naghai-ghai! Shoggog fataghn! I-ay, I-ay tsa toggua tholo-ya! Tholo-ya fathaghn(_ _4)_ _!_ "

 _Wait a minute_ , Harry thought to himself. _I_ _ **know**_ _that voice. But why would she…?_

The chanter, the lone person in the dark room, lit only by candles (NOT black ones, thankfully: it was weird enough being the child of an Outer God and being summoned by someone to make a diabolical deal without it getting too much like something out of _The Devil Rides Out_ ), was kneeling at the edge of the circle, dressed in jeans and a shirt. She looked up, revealing familiar features framed by bushy hair. She gasped, before she prostrated herself further.

"I have summoned you here, my lord," Hermione Granger said. "I desire a boon from you…"

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, that's a turn-up for the books. Little miss Goody Two-Shoes has summoned what she believes to be a herald of Nyarlathotep, if not the Crawling Chaos themselves. This is going to end well…**

 **Well, maybe it will.**

 **The humanoid Fawkes was something I did for my vampire Lunar Harmony story,** ** _On the Delights of Drinking Blood_** **. Maybe, like that story, we can have him dating Hedwig.**

 **Wow, I'm surprised at how popular this has become. Before I get onto the reviews, I should actually acknowledge a couple of minor inspirations I haven't already, having overlooked them. While this story isn't actually directly based on them, they helped inspire the tone. These stories are both in the drabble or sample chapter compilations of the respective authors. Namely, Lupine Horror's** ** _Rituals and Horrors_** **(just some warning for major tentacle-related squick in the first chapter), and Dalkon Cledwin's** ** _Luna's Crawling Chaos_** **. They too were inspired by** ** _Haiyore! Nyaruko-San_** **.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Bookworm5556** **: Nothing stronger than caffeine and sugar. I've been meaning to do a Potterverse crossover with the Cthulhu Mythos for a while. And sometimes, things just click into place. Certainly, the above fic fragments, plus** ** _Ow! My Sanity_** **and** ** _Haiyore! Nyaruko-San_** **played big roles.**

 **Tsunashi777** **: No plans to bring in the Mi-Go, and I don't know which Great Race you're talking about. Sorry.**

 **DZ2** **: Of course it was an intentional aping of Dark Willow, albeit with less of the subsequent insta-flaying. I love how Allyson Hunnigan says that line. I'm no fan of** ** _Buffy_** **, and most of the things I know about it are through what leaks into pop culture by osmosis, but that line is gold.**

 **Skull Flame** **: Nyarlathotep was NOT friends with HP Lovecraft. She offered to be a muse, and it backfired. Jury's out on Robert Howard, as I don't know much about his personality. All I know about him is that he wrote for the Mythos, and he created Conan and Red Sonja, the original version of Sonja, anyway. But she IS friends with Stephen King. And as this story is set in 1995, only the Tim Curry version of Pennywise has made an appearance. They think of Cthulhu as a destructive oaf who would stomp all over their toybox, that's their beef with him.**

 **Fall2Glory** **: Considering that there probably have been weirder Lunas, including in stories that I myself have written (she's been a TARDIS, an Alucard-like vampire, a von Einzbern Homunculus, a test subject for an experimental virus from Umbrella, etc), maybe not. Though this Luna should be at least as weird as some.**

 **EDIT: solitaire wrote to remind me of the Jenova Luna that I had in my Cetra Heritage stories. D'OH!**

 **Zekedavis** **: True, but he still gives a crap about his friends, while Lilylathotep wants revenge for her imprisoning and to get rid of the Death Eaters for shits and giggles.**

 **1\. Sebastian was the name of the Sorting Hat in DaSalvatore's** ** _Rebirth of the Founders_** **, which I cannot recommend highly enough.**

 **2\. This one might be a bit obscure to those with only a passing knowledge of the Cthulhu Mythos…or haven't watched** ** _Haiyore! Nyaruko-San_** **. Basically, Cthugha is a fire elemental and Great Old One created by August Derleth. I thought it fitting to give Fawkes a connection to the Mythos.**

 **3\. In DMentor's** ** _Tempest of the Fae_** **(the author's name has a period or full stop between the D and Mentor parts), Fawkes drinks petrol like one would drink alcohol…and matchsticks are basically junk food.**

 **4\. No, this chant doesn't come from HP Lovecraft or his contemporaries. It actually comes from the** ** _Doctor Who_** **New Adventures novel** ** _All-Consuming Fire_** **by Andy Lane. Which, incidentally, is an official crossover with Sherlock Holmes. No, really. And it's** ** _awesome_** **. It's even been recently adapted into an audio drama by Big Finish. Anyway, the Doctor remarks to his companion Bernice Summerfield that the chant, used to open doorways between worlds, is actually "** ** _a polyglot collection of words which I've heard before on half a hundred worlds across the universe, although with translations as varied as 'window', 'reddish-green', and 'happily unicycling in an easterly direction'._** **"**


	6. Chapter 5: Awkwardness is Not a

**CHAPTER 5:**

 **AWKWARDNESS IS NOT A DESIRABLE THING FOR MEETING THE CHILD OF THE CRAWLING CHAOS**

This was probably the most reckless thing that Hermione Granger had ever done in her sixteen years of her life. No wonder the Sorting Hat put her into Gryffindor. It was appallingly dangerous, not conducive to her physical and mental health, and she might end up dead or, if Dumbledore found out, expelled.

But she had to do this, for the sake of her best friend if nothing else. Dumbledore told them that they needed to not send him letters, lest Voldemort trace them…and to give Harry time to mourn. When Hermione suggested using the mundane post, Dumbledore had chuckled in a way that should have sounded paternal, but seemed patronising, before vetoing the idea. She had asked him about training Harry, and he said he would, when the time was right.

But Hermione couldn't wait. Reluctantly, she had gone into the Black family library, with the connivance of Sirius. Harry, a teenaged boy, was going up against the most powerful Dark Lord since Gellert Grindlewald. He needed power and training, and he needed it fast. She only hoped that it wouldn't backfire, despite knowing it probably would. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

While Sirius hadn't known exactly what she was going to do, he had some idea, and had tried to dissuade her. But she wouldn't be. So instead, he gave her hints and tips in how to deal with…whatever she summoned. All of which could be summed up in three words.

 _Don't fuck up_.

So, here she was, heart hammering in her chest as she continued the chant, even as a dark outline shimmered into being within the circle. A hooded and robed figure, its face invisible beneath the cowl. Well, sinister, yes, but it was better than some insanity-inducing conglomeration of tentacles, eyeballs, and slime.

As the ritual finished, Hermione sighed. Then, with as deferential a tone as she could manage, she said, "I have summoned you here, my lord. I desire a boon from you."

Oh dammit, she fucked up the wording. As an afterthought, she added, in a small voice, "Please?"

After a moment, the figure placed its hands to its face, hidden beneath the hood. " _This is her idea of a joke, isn't it?_ " she heard the figure speak to itself in a deep, tenebrous voice. Merlin, she was glad she has a lot of silencing charms on the room.

Hermione frowned. She was trying to summon Nyarlathotep or one of his heralds. The robe and the hood, though…looked more like the Grim Reaper, and she knew that she hadn't done the Rite of AshkEnte(1), though this ritual was about as simple as the one from the books. No blood involved, just some chalk, a silver knife (which she had to snatch from the hands of Mundungus Fletcher, who looked like he was going to try and sell it off), candles, the chant, and, apparently, a couple of blasts on a kazoo.

As if sensing her thoughts, the figure said, " _What boon do you desire, Hermione Granger?_ "

"You know my name?"

" _I am a herald of the Crawling Chaos. It is my business to know such things. I know your name, and I know your desires to a degree. You enjoy reading, you devour knowledge like a starving Shoggoth devouring its prey. So, is that what you desire? Knowledge?_ "

How could this thing know? How could it know? A thrill of horror ran through her, as did a small surge of righteous indignation, something she quashed. "In a manner. But on behalf of another. If you know these things, you would know of Harry Potter and his plight."

A dark chuckle rumbled out from beneath the hood. " _Indeed I do. The Boy Who Lived, with the fools of Magical Britain turning on him because they are sheep being led by a foolish shepherd while the wolves circle. So tell me, why would a witch associated with Potter consort with the Outer Gods and their ilk?_ "

The tone was mildly condescending, though it seemed more curious than that. As if it was testing her. Irritated, but keeping a lid on her temper, she said, "Voldemort is too powerful, and Dumbledore seems to be prevaricating about training him. He's even prevented us from communicating with him. Harry is a powerful and resourceful wizard, I know this already, but unless he gets knowledge and training, he will die, and…and I don't want him to!"

"… _So, you desire knowledge and power on his behalf, to be granted to him? In spite of the dangers of associating with us? In spite of the costs you may incur?_ "

"I will pay any price, other than my body, heart, and soul. They are his alone."

* * *

Wait, what?

Harry had been utterly dumfounded to discover that it was Hermione, of all people, who had summoned Nyarlathotep. Okay, he recovered quickly, and spoke what he felt an emissary of the Outer Gods was supposed to say. But then, she revealed why she had summoned him.

 _Oh, Hermione…you idiot. You summoned a herald of Nyarlathotep to help me. You idiot. It could have gone so badly, and you'd be without me, and…if I hadn't freed Mum…oh, right. She would've gotten Shubby. That wouldn't have been so bad_.

But that was nothing compared to what she said. _I will pay any price, other than my body, heart, and soul. They are his alone_.

That sounded disturbingly like a declaration of love. A declaration that he felt all-too-willing to accept.

But then, an impish notion came over him. He was still his mother's child, and while he didn't intend to be as cruel as Lily admitted herself to be, he did want to play along, as a sort of petty revenge for not sending him any mail, despite what Dumbledore claimed.

" _You seem to be labouring under a misapprehension. You do not get to dictate the terms of this transaction, Hermione Granger. You are not the one with the power here. I am. I am only listening to this because this seems like it may be interesting._ "

"Interesting…people are going to die, and you find it only interesting?!" Her outrage was amusing, even if the sentiment wasn't. He shared it.

" _You seem to be mistaking me for a human. I am not. I never was. This is my answer, Hermione Granger. When you see Harry Potter next, he shall have the power and knowledge you seek on his behalf. But in exchange, you will be my High Priestess. You shall serve me for the rest of your existence. This is non-negotiable_." Harry grinned beneath his hood. " _And the pact is sealed._ "

"What? No, this isn't what I wanted, I…" Hermione shot to her feet in a panic, only for Harry to step forward out of the circle. She froze in fear.

" _Foolish girl. You meddled in forces you have no hope of understanding. And this is your reward._ " Then, Harry decided to put her out of her misery, figuratively, and flipped up the hood. "Surprise!"

The response, after several seconds of her mind processing, was predictable. "HARRY JAMES POTTER!" she screamed.

"Hermione Jean Granger!" Harry yelled back, not quite as loud. "What were you thinking, summoning up Nyarlathotep?! You could have died, or worse, gone mad from the revelation!"

Hermione blinked, having her own words paraphrased and thrown back at her piercing through her indignant wrath. "Did…did you just quote me during our first year? And you guys said I didn't have my priorities straight?"

"I meant what I said, Hermione(2)." He sighed. "Okay, sorry, it was a mean trick, but I think that was Mum's doing."

"Mum's…Harry, what are you doing in a summoning circle meant to summon a herald of Nyarlathotep?"

"…Long story short…Nyarlathotep is my mother."

She looked at him flatly. "What."

"Okay, what time is it?" He looked at his watch. "Nine o'clock. Okay, if you're not going to be missed for a while, I'll bring you home. Hermione, do you trust me?"

There was only the slightest of hesitations, before she nodded. "Sirius has made sure I'm not to be disturbed tonight. They think I'm just reading a lot of books, cramming for my OWLs in advance. Harry…is this going to end up somewhere I don't like?"

"Probably. Just think of it as living within an MC Escher drawing."

As he brought her into the circle, and tapped his shoes together, muttering that damned quote from _The Wizard of Oz_ under his breath, she said, "Wait, what do you…?"

* * *

"…mean?" Hermione was looking around the living room in confusion. "Huh." She stared when she saw Lily, now sitting on a sofa on the ceiling, with Sebastian and Fawkes.

"Oh! Is your relationship that strong that you're already bringing her home to see me?" Lily said, before running across the ceiling, then the walls, and then to the floor. "Nice to meet you, Hermione. I'm the Chaos that always crawls up to you with a smile, Nyarlathotep…but you can call me Lily(3)."

"Buh…wha…huh?" Hermione asked coherently.

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Lily said, pouting. "You're a Ravenclaw in lion's clothing. It's not difficult to comprehend. I am Nyarlathotep. Harry is my son. He is also my herald, and I sent him to the summoning because I thought you'd appreciate a familiar face. And before you say I don't look like a pharaoh…I can shapeshift, remember?"

Hermione nodded, though she eventually began stammering, "Ha…Ha…Harry…"

"It's okay, Hermione. You don't have to emulate Quirrell," Harry said, rubbing her back soothingly.

"I should think not! Trying to kill my boy, having a Voldemort tumour growing out of his skull, and worst of all, that appalling turban! Ugh!" Lily scoffed. Then, after a moment, the Crawling Chaos gently hugged Hermione. "It's okay. You're one of Harry's friends. You're safe from being killed, eaten, or driven insane by horrors from beyond as long as that remains true. And that is doubly true that you're his High Priestess."

"Wait, what?" Hermione yelped, her brain apparently engaging again. "But…I didn't agree to that!"

"Well, it has its benefits," Lily said. "You're protected to a degree from the madness meeting beings like us can cause…well, I say to a degree because, while you don't have to be insane to work here, it helps. Secondly, we can grant you a boon of immortality, so you can be a consort or companion for my son for however long you wish. Thirdly, you get a LOT of magical power and knowledge, and not the sort that drives you insane, unlike a certain Abdul Alhazred esquire. Fourthly, I have no interest in conquering or destroying the world and/or humanity, so you don't have to worry about that sort of thing. I'd add free dental, but given your parents, well…a bit redundant, don't you think? Anyway, I was listening in to that whole saga. Didn't you say ' _I will pay any price, other than my body, heart, and soul. They are his alone._ ' I think you ought to be careful about your choice of words."

After a moment, Hermione groaned. "It's not like I didn't mean them. I meant every one of them." She looked over at Harry. "I'm sorry."

"What for? Not writing to me because Dumbledore told you to?" As Hermione looked depressed at that, he said, "You risked madness and uncertain death to help me, Hermione. That was reckless and foolish…but I appreciate it. I just hadn't thought of you that way before."

She scoffed quietly. "Of course you hadn't. The Boy Who Lived…you have plenty of girls falling at your feet."

"But who actually wants to care about Harry Potter?" Harry asked. Then, he reached out with his finger, and poked her in the middle of her forehead. "You do. You don't mind that my mum is the Crawling Chaos?"

Hermione looked at Lily uncertainly, before looking at Harry. "You're you, Harry, no matter who your mother is. As long as you're not going to start sprouting tentacles or try to bring Cthulhu up from Rl'yeh or conquer humanity…I don't mind who your mother is."

"Great!" Lily cheered. "Group hug!" And with that, Hermione promptly became the filling in a group hug sandwich. After a short period, Lily released them, and Hermione fell back, panting to try and get her breath back. "Anyway, I ordain thee, Hermione Jean Granger, as the first Head Priestess of my son, Harry James Potter, yet to have an unpronounceable name. But we'll think of something. Now, that's all the verbal stuff out of the way. Now, getting the knowledge you need into your noggin is going to be the hard part. Harry will be fine, he's half-Outer God, half-Great Old One, but you, Hermione, you're still human, and your brain has limitations. So, what I'm going to do is set up a means of your mind being able to download, or more correctly, stream the information needed into your brain as needed. I don't have to do that much, though. You've got a pretty well-structured mind. A bit boringly so, but you can take more than I thought most humans could."

"…Can I?" Hermione said, looking a bit more eager than she had before.

"Oh yes. I've just got to make sure I can leave enough room for your own memories, past, present and future. I don't usually bother with that, but…you're Harry's friend. Pranks will most definitely be kept to the non-lethal, non-permanent variety. But remember…betray his trust in you at your peril. He is not on Dumbledore's side. He is on his own side. Betray him, and you will find out that there are worse fates than death."

"I won't betray him," Hermione vowed, rather quickly.

"Good. Now, we'd better set up some good Occlumency barriers before we send you back. Don't want Dumbledore or anyone else figuring things out…"

 **CHAPTER 5 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, that went better than it could have gone. So, Harry's got his High Priestess and a future lover.**

 **Oh, I forgot to mention, another subconscious inspiration was** ** _Harry Potter and the Shell of the God-King_** **by alienyouthct, which is a crossover with** ** _Angel_** **, where Luna allows herself to be consumed and inhabited by Illyria. Another, much more conscious inspiration will be discussed in the next chapter…when Harry's father is finally revealed. Oh, and Luna Lovegood.**

 **Review-answering time!** **lokarryn** **: True, but I had other plans for Luna. I very nearly did have her doing this, but I thought it'd be better for Harry to learn how much Hermione cares about him in this manner.**

 **coduss** **: Yeah, fair enough. I love** ** _Eternal Darkness_** **…**

 **CyberDragonEX** **: In some PM correspondence with imortal333, I first learned about Old Man Henderson. People will be pleased to know that there WILL be a reference to him in the very next chapter. However, he WON'T be a character.**

 **joshuaobryan549** **: *sigh* What have I said,** ** _explicitly_** **, on my profile, about people giving me story ideas or challenges? DON'T DO IT. If you want me to read your challenge without getting angry, post it in the forums of DZ2 or whitetigerwolf. And TBH, that challenge doesn't really interest me. The Doctor does NOT need moral instruction from Mary Poppins…**

 **1\. A ritual used to summon Death in the Discworld novels.**

 **2\. This exchange was suggested to me by Lexarius in PMs about their reviews. I decided to use it in modified form, so, credit to them.**

 **3\. A reference, somewhat, to** ** _Haiyore! Nyaruko-San_** **.**


	7. Chapter 6: Familiars and Fathers

**CHAPTER 6:**

 **FAMILIARS AND FATHERS**

"You've got good taste in pets, Harry," Lily cooed as she gently stroked Hedwig's feathers the next morning. If Hedwig knew she was being petted by the Crawling Chaos, then she didn't seem to care. In fact, she seemed to relish the attention. "A shame she isn't, technically, your familiar."

"My familiar?" Harry asked.

"Yes. A being magically bound to another not out of love, but out of a bond of fealty and servitude. Keep in mind that mostly, it's between a wizard and an animal. And it's not slavery, as true familiars enter into the bond voluntarily. Whereas Hedwig, well, you got given as a gift by Hagrid, and while she is affectionate to you…the only bond is the normal postal owl one. No offence, Hedwig."

Hedwig emitted a noise that suggested no offence was taken. "In any case, when I say servitude, think of it as…like Samwise Gamgee, maybe? A good familiar will help you because they want to, no brainwashing required, and the magical bond merely facilitates that. And given what Shubby said, I think I have one possibility: namely, the Lovegood girl. The one who's now pretty much a Shoggoth."

"Umm, I thought Lovecraft said that they had rebelled against servitude," Harry pointed out.

"Yes, they rebelled against the Elder Things," Lily said, waving a careless hand. "But not all of them did, and even those that did rebel still had a few traits potentially making them easy to dominate by certain minds. I could just snap my fingers, and I'd have them shapeshift into a harem if I wanted. Knowing the Lovegoods, she would probably agree to be your familiar if only for the novel experience. They're generally the sort of Ravenclaws who seek out any kind of knowledge, even if it drives them mad. Actually, I think Alhazred may have been a distant ancestor of them. That would explain a lot. Xenophilus reminded me a lot of Alhazred."

"…Please don't tell me you have a copy of the Necronomicon in the attic."

"Of course not! It's in the basement. Oh, and I'm willing to bet that my little programmed set of instructions to the Dursleys has had them set off. I've left a bit of trickery to prevent Dumbledore's minions from realising you're gone. If any of them come in, we'll soon know. And it's your birthday tomorrow, now that I come to think of it. What would you like for your birthday? I mean, aside from your mother coming back from the dead, because, you know, you already have it."

"…I don't know."

"Hmm. Well, I could kill off Voldemort with a snap of my fingers, but where's the fun in that? I want to make him suffer. World peace? Boring, though I can imagine the chaos I'd cause if I turned every nuclear bomb's payload into…hmm, cotton candy? Gold dust? Oh, I've got it! Pile cream, because the people in charge of nuclear arsenals are arseholes! But no, that's a bit too abstract and impersonal a birthday present, and I've got fifteen years' worth to make up for. And you're a bit young for the fun stuff, and you've got Hermione for that if she's willing and you progress the relationship." She pursed her lips as Harry spluttered in shock. "I mean, besides a familiar, what does a sixteen year old wizard who's the son of the Crawling Chaos want?"

There was only one answer that came most readily to Harry's mind. "…To know my dad. My real dad."

Lily, after a moment, sighed. "Hoo boy. I knew this was going to happen. Harry…your dad is not the most sociable of people. You think I'm weird? He…isn't. He's…somewhat dour. Not really fun. He's not truly a bad person…entity…whatever. But he's pretty grim. Look, we'll get Lovegood on board as your familiar first. Then, you can meet your father. I'll figure out a better birthday present…"

* * *

The home of the Lovegoods turned out to be a rook-shaped house, in the same area, Harry realised, as the Weasleys lived. Lily, making no attempt to disguise herself or her son, merely skipped up to the front door, and knocked the 'shave and a haircut' riff. After a moment, a man with dirty blonde hair and wearing colourful clothes answered it. "Oh. Good to see you, Lily. I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Xenophilus," Lily said with a smile. "May we?"

"Come in? Of course."

They were soon let into the house, decorated rather strangely, though the strangest thing of all appeared to be four copies of the same girl, with blonde hair, wide pale eyes, and an air of dottiness, gathered around a table, playing what looked to be a tabletop RPG. "…And you can't use Old Man Henderson this time," said one of the girls(1).

"Oh, poo!" another pouted. "This is the last time I play _Call of Cthulhu_ with you!"

"I am you…"

"Don't you mean…"

"I am she…"

"And you are she…"

"As you are me…"

"And we're all together?"

"…Did you four just quote _I am the Walrus?_ " Harry asked.

" _Goo goo gajoob!_ " chorused the four girls. Which seemed to indicate the answer was 'yes'.

"…Well, it's better than 'tekeli-li', I guess," Lily said. "Shubby brought me up to speed, Xenophilus. These must be your daughter, Luna."

"Yes. My little turnip, could you recombine for now? You can pick up where you left off on your game later."

"Okay," the four Lunas said, before they seemed to flow together. Harry didn't know whether it was because he was getting used to disturbing shit happening, or that Luna's merger was done in a way that wasn't disturbing, but he didn't have the same bad reaction. Though he could have done without the _schlorp_ noise. The four Lunas became a single girl, who skipped over to Lily, and peered at his mother. "So, you're the Crawling Chaos. I thought you'd be taller."

"Oh, I can be taller. I just happen to like this form. Just as you can look any way you want to, I'm sure, being a Shoggoth. Now, you see, Shoggoths can be more loveable if they looked as cute as you did. Or beautiful…"

* * *

In another plane of existence, a blonde-haired woman in a maid's outfit sneezed. Then, she belched softly. "Is something the matter, Solution?" a craggy-faced butler asked.

"My apologies, Master Sebas," Solution Epsilon, the Shoggoth maid of the Pleiades, said. "I don't know what came over me. Must've been someone I ate…"

* * *

"Well, she's smart, beautiful, and eats whatever's put in front of her," Xenophilus beamed. "So, what's the occasion?"

"A few things. One, I wanted to see you again, though I'm wondering why you didn't look for me."

"Ah, yes. We tried, especially my wife. The accident that claimed my wife was a ritual meant to find you, but it went wrong, and Luna was watching…"

Lily caught on. "The defences Dumbledore put in place must have caused a backlash and…oh, Xenophilus, I'm so sorry! I can understand why Shubby didn't try, there were some pretty nasty defences against other eldritch beings, but…I shouldn't have brought it up. Anyway, secondly…I wanted to see if your daughter was amenable to being my son's familiar."

"Of course! I only have two conditions." She looked at Harry. "Pudding."

"Pudding?"

"Pudding. I want the best puddings the son of the Crawling Chaos can conjure up in exchange for my fealty! _PUDDINGS!_ "

"…Well, I like a girl who knows what they want," Lily said with a smile. "But what's the other condition?"

Luna looked to Harry once more. Then, softly, she said, "Be my friend."

"Be your friend," Harry parroted back to her. Then, he saw the loneliness and sorrow in her eyes. Something he had seen in the mirror many times, mostly before his Hogwarts letter came along. "You don't…have many, do you?"

Luna shook her head. "Ginny's probably my only friend. Nargles…bullies…they mock me, take my things. A lot of Ravenclaw do that. I soooo want to eat them, but if I do that…well, I know something bad will happen. It's hard to kill a Shoggoth, but not impossible. They don't understand the things I see, the things that flit through my brain, and they never will. I want to be friends with Harry Potter, not the Boy Who Lived, or the son of the Crawling Chaos."

Harry, after a moment, made his decision. He hugged the girl. Her mother died right in front of her. She was bullied. And she was a stranger in a strange land. Almost impulsively, he said, "I won't be your friend." As she stiffened beneath his hug, he added, "But I can be your big brother. I've wanted a little sister for a while."

"…Do you mean it?" Luna asked quietly.

"Yeah. Plus, my High Priestess is pretty much a Ravenclaw hiding in Gryffindor. I can see you and she getting along famously. Or you annoying the hell out of her, but given that she tried to summon my mother to help me, she can't be all that close-minded."

"Maybe the Wrackspurts are clearing away," Luna mused.

* * *

They made arrangements to have a permanent portal to Nyarlathotep's domain in the Lovegood household, albeit one only Xenophilus and Luna could use. Anyone else could have, if needed, a 'guest pass', so to speak. Then, they headed back home.

In order to keep his mind off the various things that had happened to him so far, Harry asked a question that occurred to him. "Umm, Mum…I need to ask something. Hermione and I travelled in time using a Time-Turner, and I've read about the Hounds of Tindalos, so…"

"Hmm? Oh, the Hounds had their reputation blown up out of all proportion. Otherwise, every wizard and witch who uses a Time-Turner would be in trouble. It's why, when you used the Time-Turner, you had to take care not to be seen. It's not so much the time travel as much as the paradoxes that happen that attract the Hounds. And not an ontological paradox, as they're just neat little loops. No, it's the paradoxes that threaten to break the universe or changes the flow of time too much. Say you accidentally kill yourself when you go back in time. You've effectively caused the Grandfather Paradox in a way. But you yourself remain because time travel does disconnect you somewhat from the flow of causality. I'll have to get you more used to learning how these things work. Anyway, because you're an anomaly in that you exist when you shouldn't, that's what attracts the Hounds. They're basically the leukocytes…white blood cells, I mean, of time."

"Okay…sounds like something out of _Doctor Who_ ," Harry muttered.

"Love that show," Lily said. Then, she smiled. Warmly, maternally. "I think I know what present to get you. Your powers, Harry, are still locked away, thanks to Dumbledore's meddling. I kept them that way because, well, I thought you'd get used to this situation better. But tomorrow, I will unlock them. Don't worry, I'll make sure you can keep your human form, as you seem to like it. But, well, I'm going to be putting a lot of knowledge into your mind on how to use your power. Of course, only half of your power comes from me. And the other half…"

" _Comes from me._ "

The hissing, sibilant tone came from a dark portal that they hadn't noticed opening up behind them. Lily stiffened, and then sighed. "So much for breaking it to you gently," she muttered.

" _You coddle our child_ ," hissed the voice, as a figure walked through it. Harry realised, with a start, that it…he was speaking Parseltongue.

"He has been thrown into a world he only knows of through Howard's half-truths," Lily retorted. "Incidentally, hello, it's nice to meet you, would you like a cup of tea?"

The figure grimaced. He looked to be a tall, thin man, with cold, golden eyes with slitted pupils. But he seemed uncomfortable in his own skin, as if that form wasn't natural. " _I am not here for a social visit. I took on this form on the Black Goat's suggestion. It was she who told me of your return. But I am not here for pleasantries._ "

"You never are," Lily said with a sigh. "Are we going to have a custodial disagreement?"

The man shook his head. " _We agreed when we conceived him that you would do most of the raising. But there would be times when I require him to act in my stead as my herald. His purpose was to destroy the fool who believes himself Lord of the Serpents instead of I. Thanks to that thrice-accursed contract he made with me, neither I nor my followers can take direct action against him, even as he defiles my children while claiming to revere them!_ " His eyes looked sharply at Harry. " _Normally, one who slays one of my children will suffer punishment, but you are my son, and the Basilisk beneath Hogwarts had been driven insane by Voldemort playing with him like a spoiled churl plays carelessly with a toy! Thus, you have my gratitude than my wrath for ending the Basilisk's suffering. But I charge you with a mission, to end the miserable existence of the one named Voldemort. The one who claims to revere my children, but in truth, corrupts them for his own petty, selfish ends._ "

"I was going to do that anyway," Harry said archly, finding the man's attitude rather grating.

" _Good. I cannot assist you directly due to the terms of that damnable contract…but there is a hidden room in the Chamber of Secrets that will open only to those with my blood. Until now, there has only been one of my descendants who could access it…my child Salazar himself. You will be the next, and gain the knowledge I granted him as a boon. Consider this your mission, given to you by your father, Yig, the Father of Serpents. Farewell_ …"

With that, the now-named Yig turned around, and went back whence he came. Lily, after a moment, said, "I did tell you he was a bit grim and dour…"

 **CHAPTER 6 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Harry's father has been revealed as Yig, Father of Serpents. A lot of you actually realised this already. The original inspiration came from Belowyn's** ** _Harry Potter, son of Yig_** **, and I actually PMed Belowyn asking for permission to use the concept, and got it. I never did the story I was considering doing, but I used the concept here. Yig, though, is NOT going to be playing a huge role in the story, just as background. The focus is on Harry, his coterie, and Lily. That being said, Belowyn's story needs more love, so, do yourselves a favour, and read it.**

 **Oh, and…Luna! Because many things are better with Luna Lovegood, and anyone who thinks otherwise needs their heads examined. Preferably by a hungry mindflayer. Plus, I couldn't resist a quick reference to Solution Epsilon from the** ** _Overlord_** **novels and anime.**

 **Oh, and obviously, I don't own** ** _I am the Walrus_** **. The Beatles do. GOO GOO GAJOOB! (Doesn't that sound like some Lovecraftian utterance?)**

 **Review-answering time! That whole thing about Harry being given an unpronounceable name was a joke. Lilylathotep will give him one after the story ends. Or maybe she'll just call him Harrylathotep. So there. :P**

 **coduss** **: Actually, I agree. In terms of personality, Xel'lotath is my favourite of the Ancients. It's interesting that Richard Doyle plays the servant of an eldritch abomination in two different gaming franchises. In** ** _Eternal Darkness_** **, he plays Pious Augustus, and in the** ** _Legacy of Kain_** **games, he plays Mobius.**

 **TheREALMightyKamina** **: No. Never heard of him.**

 **DalkonCledwin** **: Hey, it was partly your fanfic based on** ** _Haiyore! Nyaruko-San_** **that inspired this. I just thought I'd refer to that fic, and I'm fairly sure that line came from the original light novels and anime.**

 **TheSpokesman1** **: Too true.**

 **DZ2:** **Yes, and it was the suggestion of Lexarius.**

 **1\. In correspondence with imortal333, I learned of the infamy of Old Man Henderson, a PC created for a campaign of** ** _Call of Cthulhu_** **. I dunno whether this story is a real tabletop RPG anecdote, or just made up wholesale, but I decided to include a reference to it anyway, even if it may be anachronistic. A few of you mentioned him in later reviews, but credit goes to imortal333 for telling me about the insanity that is Old Man Henderson.**


	8. Chapter 7: A Bond of Harmony

**CHAPTER 7:**

 **A BOND OF HARMONY**

Harry's sixteenth birthday was easily one of the happiest he had ever had. His mother decided to take him on a trip to Disneyworld. She spent part of their time there defacing any images of Walt Disney she came across with a felt-tip pen ('His films are enjoyable, I just like tearing down false idols'), sabotaging the 'It's a Small World' ride to have the puppets sing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ , complaining loudly and vocally that they didn't have someone called 'Captain Jack Sparrow' in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride(1), and giving the costumed mascots Cooling Charms.

It was shortly after that, though, that the Dursleys died (well, their bodies did, anyway), and the Order of the Phoenix got skittish. Thankfully, Lily had given Hermione a means of communicating with them, a special diary, and she warned them in advance that the Order was intending to pick up Harry within a few hours. They wouldn't learn it until later, but they had foiled a plot by one Dolores Umbridge to discredit or even kill Harry via a couple of Dementors…though once Harry's full nature as an Outer God/Great Old One hybrid was unlocked, the Dementors would never come near him again. They were lower down the food chain, and they knew it.

Lily had also set up things so that it would appear that she was still in the coffin at Little Whinging. Dumbledore, she explained, would be easy enough to fool once he saw what he wanted to see.

Harry, of course, had to act a part, and act outraged at his friends for not writing to him. Well, not that he had to act much. He was still angry with Ron for not writing to him, and while his anger at Hermione had been dissipated thanks to her taking a risk to summon Nyarlathotep, he still managed to channel it well, though he hated how she flinched back. Maybe he acted too well. Or maybe she was worried that, if he got too angry, he would start inadvertently dissolving the walls of reality.

It certainly wasn't helped when he 'accidentally' kicked that House Elf Kreacher onto a hook on the wall, magically embalming his head and making his body drop away. He had promptly been berated by a good chunk of the Order, and even when he offered to bring in Dobby to help clean things up (as Kreacher obviously hadn't been doing a good enough job, either from advanced age or out of spite towards anyone who'd dare try to inhabit his mistress' house), they didn't seem mollified. Sirius had been elated, and frankly, so were Tonks, Hermione, and the Weasley children. But the others, while unhappy with Kreacher's behaviour, also seemed equally unhappy with Harry's lack of guilt.

Thankfully, Hermione had been mostly playing along, as she reassured him when she met him in his assigned room, apparently formerly that of Regulus Black. She had come here for Harry to begin grafting the magic she would need to be his High Priestess. His mother had taught him how to do that, unlocking small but significant amounts of his power.

"You know," Hermione said with a nervous smile, one matched by Harry, "when a boy asks a girl to lie on his bed, they usually have something else in mind."

"You know, if I said the same thing to you," Harry said wryly, "you'd be up in arms about it. You're not upset about what I did to Kreacher? I mean, given all that SPEW stuff you did last year?"

Hermione shook her head. "The things he called me…and that portrait of that woman…Sirius' mother is a harridan. No, she's a bitch. Harry, Sirius had me look up things about House Elves when I was brought here, and when you look past the propaganda, the House Elves are actually in symbiosis with the wizards or households they are in, gaining magic in return for their services. I detest the situation, and I want to make their lot better anyway, but freeing them willy-nilly is not the way unless they desire freedom. But one like Kreacher…I'm not sorry he's dead, even if he didn't hurt anyone overtly. But he apparently helped abuse Sirius before." She took some calming breaths as she lied down on the bed. "So, how do we do this?"

"You just try to relax, Hermione. Mum said I could do this in a way that gives you pleasure instead of pain, but given the way she described it…well, she bluntly called it like having a hundred orgasms at once, and I don't think we're anywhere near that stage in our relationship yet. I mean, I'm still coming to terms with the fact that you love me."

"And you do too, right?"

"Of course! I mean, it's as a friend, but I can see it going further," Harry said. "But not like this. Anyway, Mum told me to do it in a painless way. It'll still feel unpleasant, like you've got vertigo or something. That's why you're lying down. She said this is, effectively, hooking up a modem in your head. It not only allows you to get the information you want or need, as well as filtering anything that may be too much for you, but it also sets up a telepathic link with both of us. Anyway, you ready?"

She nodded, before closing her eyes. Harry then gently touched her forehead with two of his fingers, and began reaching out with part of his essence into her brain. Hermione gasped softly.

Now, the way his mother described it, he could do it with a chant, as was traditional. But he didn't want to make this any weirder than, frankly, it already was, and the chant wasn't necessary. So he just used his instincts…and implanted the link.

Hermione moaned, though it was thankfully (and surprisingly so) non-sensual, being more like someone who was badly nauseous. "Oh, I felt that. Ugh…"

"Lie still. It'll take a minute for the link to settle down properly."

Hermione obeyed him. Eventually, he felt the link settle, and he took his fingers away. He tried out the link. _Hello, Hermione, can you hear me?_

Her eyes shot wide open. _Yes, I can. Whoa, this is weird_.

 _You're telling me. You feel all right?_

 _Yes. Can I try it out?_

 _Yes._

 _Right. So…let's try something relatively innocuous. Let's see what information I can get on the Elder Things_. For a second, Hermione's eyes rolled up in the back of her head, before she looked at Harry. "Wow," she said out loud, albeit in a quiet, awed tone. "This is…amazing."

 _I'm glad you think so_ , Lily's voice came over the link, amused. _I usually don't let people have this sort of thing without strings attached, you becoming High Priestess to my son aside. Most of those I gave this wee boon to, well, I didn't bother giving what amounts to a filter or a censor. The data you download into your brain is done in manageable chunks, and automatically mitigates any effects that may drive you insane or corrupt you. Well, innate effects, anyway. I can't be held responsible if any data causes you to go insane from knowing certain things. But anything that causes insanity merely by thinking about it, or the like, gets filtered._

 _And you don't normally do this filter stuff for other people?_ Hermione asked.

 _No. There's a few reasons why. One, it amuses me to see idiots go mad from the revelation. Two, those who do want knowledge from me are generally the sort of people who shouldn't have that sort of thing. Three, most of the time, when people want more knowledge, they go consult Yog-Sothoth. Now, let's discuss your duties. I'm in no hurry to get Harry more followers, but eventually, you will have to get them. Having headed more than my fair share of cults, either for myself or for the Outer Gods, I can safely say that quality tends to be better than quantity, though Shubby tends to prefer quantity. But she grants many of her followers boons. Anyway, that means a minimum of fangirls and fanboys of my son as acolytes. Looking through Harry's memories, I think the Weasley Twins may be a good start. I like acolytes with a touch of mischief about them._

 _Of course you do, Mum_ , Harry thought with a roll of his eyes.

 _Absolute loyalty is a must, obviously_ , Lily continued. _And another thing: his followers cannot harm snakes. Slytherins are fine, they're not really snakes, but well…let's just say Harry's father wouldn't be happy_.

Hermione caught on straight away, not even needing a data download. Out loud, she hissed, "Your father…is Yig?!"

"And I now have a Shoggoth as a familiar. Have you ever met a Ravenclaw in the year below us called Luna Lovegood?"

Hermione stared at him blankly. After a moment to process that, she said, "I've met her once or twice. She's…eccentric, to say the least. But a Shoggoth? And she's your familiar now?"

Noting the dangerous tone in her voice, Harry said, hurriedly, "It's nothing like that. She's more like my little sister now. Just like being my High Priestess…well, you're not my servant, or at least I don't think of you that way. You're my friend and, I hope, girlfriend."

"You don't have to _hope_ ," Hermione said. Then, over her link, she asked, _Lily…I can call you that, can't I?_

 _Of course! I don't stand on convention. So, what do you want?_

 _Is it possible to permanently download certain information? Particularly how to speak another language?_

 _Certainly. You'll probably need a paracetamol afterwards, and it's not something you should do often. Why?_

 _Is Parseltongue possible to learn that way?_

 _Ooh! Actually, yes. Normally, it would be impossible for a non-speaker to learn it. They can imitate the words well enough to fool magical artifacts, though snakes are another matter. But there are a few exotic ways you can learn it, and this memory download is one of them! But why?_

 _Well, one, it'd be a novel and enlightening experience to speak to snakes_ , Hermione said. _Two, I want to be able to speak to Harry in a covert language. And three, if we need to use the Chamber of Secrets as a covert base of operations, I will need to be able to open it myself, and not just rely on Harry to do so._

 _You had me at the first one. We'll wait until the link's settled down a little before we attempt that, though. I'm sure you don't want to lose important chunks of your memory. Give it a day or two. I think you can wait until then. I deliberately set up the link so you wouldn't end up like a junkie waiting for another fix._

 _Okay_ , Hermione said. _By the way, what are we going to do about Voldemort and Dumbledore?_

 _Good question. Now, despite what the old goat thinks, I'm not out to destroy or rule the world. But he holds us in contempt. And particularly me. Anything with the taint of the Great Old Ones or the Outer Gods has to be destroyed or contained, as he conflates it with the worst of the Dark Arts. He may have done some good for Magical Britain…but he deliberately set things up to torture both of us. He feels that we do not deserve mercy because we are not human. And should he learn of Molly Weasley's allegiance to Shubby…yeah, he'd wipe out the whole Weasley family._

 _Even though they support him?_ Hermione asked in horror.

 _Yes. Oh, he wouldn't kill them himself, but he may send them to their deaths or allow the Death Eaters to target them. It's a long story. The short version is…his sister was one of Yog-Sothoth's little hybrids. He's blamed us for that ever since. Grindlewald wanted to summon one of us during the Second World War, and that only served to calcify Dumbledore's resolve to deal with us and our followers in any way he sees fit. He's not wholly wrong…but he's indiscriminate about whom he targets. And you painted a big target on your back when you tried summoning me the other night. And while I am an Outer God, my imprisonment has left me weakened. And Dumbledore has had over a decade to layer protections over himself to prevent me from killing or torturing him. But that doesn't mean we can't deal with him. We just have to be patient_ …

* * *

Harry was surprised when, later that night while in his own room, he was woken up by his mother's voice in his mind. _Wakey-wakey, Harry!_

Harry blinked, and looked at his watch. _Mum, it's midnight!_

 _And? You don't need sleep, technically. I suspect you do so mostly out of habit. And I thought teenagers loved staying up past midnight. Anyway, I've gotten my summoning alarm back from Shubby. And wouldn't you know it, we've got yet another summoning. Well, I've had a few, but those were easy ones. This one should be an easy one too, but I'm fobbing it off to you._

 _Because you're lazy?_ Harry thought wryly.

 _Watch your mouth, young man, or I'll wash it out with the blood of an Elder Thing_ , Lily said with an amused lilt to her words. _Their blood makes a good soap, believe it or not. Anyway, it's another Hogwarts student. I don't think you know them that well, but they're a Slytherin, and they're not related to the Death Eaters. Her name is Daphne Greengrass. The Greengrasses are one of the more neutral Slytherin families. Dark, but not actually Blood Purists. They're more concerned with political connections and networking than seizing power by force, and they're actually closer to Ravenclaws in their attitude to knowledge. I've already let Hermione know, just in case._

 _Just in case…what?_ Harry asked, with a feeling of dread. Well, more so than he had been feeling over the last little while.

 _You'll see_ , Lily chuckled.

* * *

After Lily felt her son go through the summoning portal, she heard Hermione, who had been listening, sigh over their connection. _He doesn't know what he's getting into, does he?_

 _Nope. He may be my son, but that doesn't mean I won't troll him every now and then_ , Lily said. _I'm surprised you're okay with this_.

 _I'm not wholly okay with this. But Daphne is probably one of my only friends in Slytherin, and I know her situation. You do know that was one of the reasons I created SPEW? Because of my inability to do anything about Daphne's situation?_

 _Well, that doesn't surprise me. Hopefully, situations like this won't crop up too often._

 _I hope so too_ , Lily heard Hermione say, with some discontent in her voice.

 _Hey, I warned you this might happen. Don't worry. His love for you will never fade. Take it from someone who's seen people loving each other for millennia. Being summoned by you and having that confession was the kick in the arse he needed to realise his own feelings. What he's doing now with Daphne is just part of the job now_ …

* * *

The room he appeared in was dark, and lit with candles, just like last time. But these ones were black candles, and he caught the tang of blood in the air. He was grateful for the hood, as it concealed his expression.

He now recognised Greengrass. Not one of Malfoy's inner circle, but he remembered that she had a reputation as the Ice Queen of Slytherin. Blonde hair framing regally beautiful looks. Usually, they had been set in cold indifference whenever they were at school, Harry realised.

And yet, she was looking up at him in fear and awe, dressed only in simple robes that clung to her figure in ways that he was trying to avoid thinking about. He decided to break the silence. " _Why have you summoned me, emissary to the Crawling Chaos?_ "

"My lord, I humbly request a boon," Daphne said. "My father is being forced to draw up a marriage contract between myself and the supporters of the Dark Lord. I am intended for Draco Malfoy, and my sister Astoria for Theodore Nott. I wish to protect my sister, and to spite the Dark Lord and his machinations. I hereby pledge myself to your services in any way you see fit."

Harry could hear the laughter of his mother at the back of his mind. … _Am I being set up for a harem?_ he asked despondently, thinking that Hermione was going to kill him for this.

 _Lily cares not from whence the grandbabies flow_ , Lily laughed. _Only that there_ _ **ARE**_ _grandbabies(_ _2)_ …

 **CHAPTER 7 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, we're definitely going to have what I dubbed Icy Harmony for this fic (Harry/Hermione/Daphne). It's a pairing I've been trying to do for a while, and this is the first posted fic I think I could do it in. And I had planned this, more or less, for some time.**

 **The fate of Kreacher was something I reused from another of my fics,** ** _Yield to the Darkness_** **, where Mare does the same thing. That being said, part of the idea came from one of robst's fics,** ** _Souls Abound_** **, though that is Kreacher killing himself.**

 **Incidentally, this may be the last chapter I post for a while. After the big update in which this story made its debut, I need to recharge my batteries and work on my non-fanfic writing, which has fallen by the wayside.**

 **Review-answering time! I'm glad many of you liked how I portray Luna. While I enjoy doing Lunar Harmony stories, it seemed a bit too easy to just have her as Harry's love interest. I just wanted to make Luna cute in a creepy, pseudo-Lovecraftian way. I had considered making her a Deep One (which would have explained where her mother came from…and where she went), or part-Great Old One, but after thinking about it, making her basically a more intelligent version of the Shoggoth from** ** _Ow! My Sanity_** **worked better.**

 **Lexarius** **: I have heard of** ** _Shoggoth on the Roof_** **.**

 **imortal333** **: I haven't decided on an Animagus form for Harry. I'm leaning towards a Basilisk at least, if not something more Lovecraftian. Then again, as he is the son of the Crawling Chaos, he could potentially turn himself into ANY animal or creature.**

 **BMS** **: I agree that you can never have too much Luna, though more than a few people disagree.**

 **Leicontis** **:** ** _Care Bears Call of Cthulhu_** **. I have just one thing to say to that:** ** _What_** **. As for your random idea, I may just run with that. It sounds fun. Maybe I should do that to Marietta Edgecomb or something…**

 **OBSERVER01** **: I didn't have Stannis consciously in mind when I wrote Yig, but in retrospect, you're right. I was just thinking of this impassive, somewhat monolithic and cold entity, and while I didn't think of him consciously either, I was thinking more along the lines of Dream of the Endless from** ** _The Sandman_** **. Actually, Dream and Stannis Baratheon have quite a bit in common, don't they? Cold, with a terrible wrath when roused, and obsessed with duty to the detriment of almost everything else around them. As for the other Founders being descended from Lovecraftian entities, it is something I considered before I even started this fic proper, and it is still on the cards, though I don't think I will implement it.**

 **Ace Trainer Jessie** **: It's probably for the best that you see Lovecraftian stuff outside of Lovecraft. Lovecraft, frankly, was pretty damned racist, even for his time, and his writing style was dry as a desert. He excels in atmosphere and worldbuilding, though, so there's that.**

 **DZ2** **: They're not doppelgangers per se, they're more like Shadow Clones from** ** _Naruto_** **that she can exude when she wants to. And it goes without saying that the Queen of the Pudding Club from** ** _On the Delights of Drinking Blood_** **is even crazier. Hell, the TARDIS Luna from** ** _Renaissance of the Renegades_** **(plug, plug) is even crazier, but she's a TARDIS, it goes without saying.**

 **DalkonCledwin** **: True, but the Reapers are not the only timeline eaters from the Whoniverse. The Chronovores from** ** _The Time Monster_** **, for example.**

 **Ultimate-Zelda-Fan** **: I haven't seen the movie, and it's been a while since I've read the book, so I can't say. I was thinking more along an eldritch equivalent to the neuralyzers from** ** _Men in Black_** **, or Nibbler's amnesia ray from** ** _Futurama_** **('Why does everything taste purple?').**

 **Wolfpackersson09** **: I'm not sure that's going to happen. They may join the nascent cult, true, but a harem? I only have plans for Hermione and Daphne so far.**

 **1\. This story is set in 1996 (canon plus one year), so the** ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **films aren't out yet. But keep in mind, Lilylathotep can see dimly through space and time. Plus, I started that part of the chapter with my** ** _Sekirei_** **crossover** ** _Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, An Ashikabi's Life for Me_** **on my mind (shameless plugging).**

 **2\. Yui says the same thing in Gregg Landsman's excellent, if sadly unfinished,** ** _The Long Night of the Harvest_** **, a crossover between** ** _Neon Genesis Evangelion_** **and** ** _Mass Effect_** **. I recommend a lot of his works, especially his** ** _Evangelion_** **epic** ** _Nobody Dies_** **(his depiction of Rei pretty much inspires how I do a lot of crazy OP characters in my stories: imagine Rei if she was like a cartoon character), his** ** _Mass Effect/Exalted_** **crossover** ** _Glorious Shotgun Princess_** **, and his most recent work, a** ** _Mass Effect/X-Com_** **crossover called** ** _Reparations_** **.**


	9. Chapter 8: Icy Harmony

**CHAPTER 8:**

 **ICY HARMONY**

Harry's mind was racing. To get rid of the marriage contracts was simple: the Goblins. They feared and respected Nyarlathotep enough to basically tear them up, as they kept the various marriage contracts and wills of Magical Britain on file.

But here he was, having Daphne Greengrass offer herself to him. The words may not have quite been there, but it seemed to be in her tone. That was more than a little disturbing, to say the least. There were a few good reasons why. One, he barely knew her. Two, he already had Hermione as a girlfriend. Three, although she was apparently genuine in her request, Harry's experience with Malfoy's inner circle, not to mention Snape and the Death Eaters, made him understandably wary of any Slytherin.

It was then that Hermione's voice came through. _Harry, you can trust her. I've had lessons with Daphne. She is a friend. Remember when I set up SPEW last year? I had been frustrated when I heard about Daphne and her sister possibly being sold into marriage by her father, and I transferred it to the House Elves._

 _But you're okay with this?_ Harry asked, disturbed.

 _Not wholly, but…one, it's really part of what you are now. Two…she's a friend. Your mother may want to set you up with a harem…_

 _Curses!_ Lily laughed. _My evil plan has been revealed!_

 _…But I want us to have a strong relationship, so…_

 _I understand, Hermione_ , Harry said. _I want to have a harem as much as you want me to, I'm sure._

 _Thanks_ , Hermione said, her smile evident even through the mental link. _But…Daphne, I'm willing to share with, if only to help her_.

 _So, how are we going to do this?_ Harry asked. _What role should she have?_

Hermione hummed, before she mused, _Well, as I'm High Priestess, maybe she can be my verger?_

 _Great idea!_ Lily cheered. _Only with more sex than most ecclesiastical organisations! You'd better recruit Daphne now, though. She's wondering why you're being so silent._

Harry looked at the blonde, and did notice that her expression seemed to contain a mixture of apprehension and irritation. So, using his disguised voice, he said, " _Rise._ "

Daphne got to her feet, and then looked at Harry. " _Tell me_ ," Harry continued, " _does your father know about this?_ "

After a moment's hesitation, she nodded. "He tried to dissuade me. But he is also as eager to go through with allowing this marriage contract to go through as I am. Not that that meant much, as the Dark Lord appeared before us, and made it very clear that we would be wed to the children of his peons. ' _You have either that future, or no future at all_ ', he had said. In truth, he desires control of our fortune and our connections in the Wizengamot, to strengthen his position before he makes himself publicly known."

" _And if I were to annul your contracts, and take you into hiding, what would your father do?_ "

"As long as Tori and I are safe, he wouldn't care, even if he were killed by the Dark Lord."

Harry chuckled, even as he admired the resolve of Daphne's father, a man willing to sacrifice his life to thwart Voldemort as long as his daughters were safe. " _The Dark Lord. He calls himself Lord Voldemort, styles himself as the purest of Purebloods…but did you know he was actually sired by a Muggle father?_ "

Judging by her widening eyes, she didn't. Indeed, she was now doing a very creditable impression of the Innsmouth Look…if it was possible to still look beautiful with a wide mouth and bulging eyes. "What?!"

" _Oh yes. His true name is Tom Marvolo Riddle Junior. In fact, he derived his current name from an anagram. Tom Marvolo Riddle, when rearranged, spells 'I am Lord Voldemort'_ ," Harry said.

He could see the gears turning in her head, despite her expression of shock. She seemed about to ask how he knew, before apparently deciding that asking an Outer God this might be silly. Or be construed as insolent. And one thing she didn't want to do was piss off an entity that could flay her mind.

" _So, instead of being sold like cattle into the service of Voldemort, you wish to sell yourself into my service?_ " he asked. He found the whole concept disturbing. Okay, he pranked Hermione with it, but she had been willing to when she realised who he was. Daphne, however, was a virtual stranger, and she was willing to sell herself, effectively, to the service of an ancient entity.

"Yes, and don't think I don't understand the irony of the situation," Daphne muttered, before wincing, realising that she had been rude to an emissary of Nyarlathotep.

Harry merely chuckled. " _Oh, it's going to be even more ironic, Daphne Greengrass. Very well. I accept your proposal. You shall be verger to my High Priestess._ "

Daphne seemed startled and bemused. "Excuse me?"

" _You're excused. Bring your sister with you. She will be safer with us. Relatively speaking. Bring whatever you need as well._ "

Daphne blinked, before she scurried out of the door. Harry only had to wait a few minutes before she came back in, holding the hand of her younger sister, and some bags and a shrunken trunk. He would later learn she had prepared for this for a long time. She took his hand with some trepidation, but little hesitation. "Let's go."

* * *

Once they were back home, Daphne and a sleepy Astoria looked around, confused. They were expecting something significantly less mundane than a living room with MC Escher architecture. "Huh," she said, a little flatly. "This is…strange. Not what I was expecting."

" _I'm sure it wasn't. And speaking of the unexpected_ …" Harry began, before flipping his hood off his head. "Surprise!"

Daphne and Astoria stared at Harry's features. Astoria blinked the sleep from her eyes, and then looked at a dumbfounded Daphne. "Daphne, are you sure you performed the ritual correctly?"

"…I don't know," Daphne said quietly. "I mean, I was absolutely certain that I did it properly, and yet…" She then looked up at Harry, her blue eyes now icy and hard. "Potter, how did you end up as the emissary to Nyarlathotep? Always assuming, of course, that this is not a delusion or some prank Granger or one of those vulgar Weasley twins set up."

"Oh, I ended up as the Crawling Chaos' emissary in much the same way as anyone gets anywhere in Magical Britain," Harry snarked. "Nepotism."

A peal of laughter heralded the arrival of his mother, walking through the door. "Oh, that's a good one, dear!" she cackled, before turning to the Greengrass sisters. "And it's doubly funny because it's true. Greetings! I am the Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep! Known most recently as Lily Evans, so…does that make me Lilylathotep? Yes, I know, I look good for being…strange aeons old. I moisturize."

Daphne and Astoria were staring at Lily, before the younger Greengrass sister muttered, "I'm going to sleep." She wandered over to a lounge and flopped onto it. "Wake me when this weird dream is over…" she murmured, before she began snoring softly.

"Yeah, she's going to wake up and find reality to be a cruel prank," Lily remarked with a careless shrug.

Daphne, to her credit, recovered quickly. Gathering her reserves of haughtiness, she said, "I do not believe you."

"Even though I'm well-known as a shapeshifter?" Lily suddenly changed into a tall, powerfully built dark-skinned man. "Would you prefer this?" she…well, _he_ asked in a deep, sonorous voice. And then, Nyarlathotep changed into… _something_. A hideous conglomeration of tentacles, eyes, and mouths. " _OR WouLD You pReFEr this?_ " it asked, in a voice that was not even remotely human.

Daphne's eyes widened. She immediately went down on her hands and knees. Nyarlathotep promptly shifted back to Lily. "Hey, hey, get off the floor, you'll get your robes dirty," Lily said. "As amusing as it is to see my followers genuflecting, you're here in my home. You made a deal with my son, and I'm not going to let Voldemort hurt you if I can help it."

Daphne stared at Lily as the redheaded eldritch abomination helped her to her feet. "So…Harry Potter is…"

"Yep. One of mine. Just keep in mind, you have Hermione to thank for allowing you to go through with this deal," Lily said.

"I see. I'm sorry we have not met before through Hermione," Daphne said, turning to face Harry. "But given the rather rabid anti-Slytherin sentiments of the Gryffindors, especially the Weasleys, I doubt we could have. Though You Know Who and the actions of Malfoy and his little court haven't helped, I'm sure."

"As long as you're not a Death Eater, or going to say crap about Muggleborns, I don't care," Harry said. "Would there be any others who I could be friends with?"

"The list is pretty short thanks to Malfoy," Daphne said. "I have a friend, Tracey Davis, and there's Blaise Zabini, and a few others, mostly from the lower years, including my sister. I'm surprised that you even considered the concept of a Slytherin friend."

"My mother is the Crawling Chaos, and Hermione's vouched for you. I've got to be a little more open-minded after all that. Besides, it's partly Malfoy's fault I didn't go into Slytherin in the first place, with the way he acted when I met him before the Sorting. The Sorting Hat actually suggested I'd do well in Slytherin."

"Given how Snape treats you, I doubt it," Daphne remarked. "And there are a lot of Death Eaters' children who'd push you around. And even those who aren't are generally children of old families, many of which have a lot of money, political connections, or both. They'd have either seen you as a threat or an asset to exploit, for the most part. Even I would have." She gave an amused scoff. "As you said, Magical Britain runs on nepotism, on family connections or favours…or on money, and Slytherin even more so. I'd imagine Salazar would be turning in his grave."

"I knew him, and I can honestly say he would be," Lily said cheerfully. "Actually, I can go dig up his cadaver and bring it back to life if you want to confirm it." A shovel appeared in her hands in a flurry of sparkles. "A little bit of graverobbing is good physical exercise, after all. Of course, so is filling graves, and I can foresee a lot of that in the near-future. Wizards and witches don't do enough of that, I feel."

"Graverobbing?" Harry asked.

"Well, yes, but I meant physical exercise," Lily said. "It's all spells and House Elves, and they have potions to prevent many effects of a sedentary lifestyle. Though to be fair, casting magic does consume calories. It just doesn't help with physical strength. Sooo…do either of you want me to dig up Salazar's corpse?"

"No," Harry and Daphne chorused, causing Lily to pout.

"You're no fun. Okay, well, let's get on with institutionalising…I mean, _instituting_ Daphne as a verger." Lily straightened up, becoming a little more serious. "I ordain thee, Daphne Ophelia Greengrass, as the verger of my son, Harry James Potter, yet to have an unpronounceable name. Still working on that. It's more than just picking out random syllables that sound like someone gargling gravel, no matter what Howard thought."

"…That ruined the moment," Daphne said flatly.

"She does that," Harry said.

"Hey, I'm the Crawling Chaos. My thought processes tend to be a little chaotic at times," Lily said. Her features softened, and she gently hugged Daphne. "I'll go to Gringotts before long, get the Goblins to deal with the contract. Welcome to the family," she said softly.

Harry saw how Daphne relaxed, her eyes glistening suspiciously. Tears not of fear or sorrow, but of hope and relief. The mask of the Ice Queen had already proved to be such, a mask, but he was glad to see behind it. Truth be told, he wished he had gotten to know her sooner.

Still, he hoped he could help her. He hoped he could help everyone he could, everyone who deserved it.

* * *

Voldemort rarely slept nowadays, so he was present when the copies he had of the marriage contracts between the Greengrass girls and his peons' sons flared with magical light, and then were consumed by flames. Even as his fury and anger threatened to overwhelm him, he knew better than to go charging into Gringotts, even though that was where the contracts would have been terminated from. He was still trying to stay under the radar for now, allow the Ministry to weaken itself through his agents before he made his move in earnest, and attacking the Goblins without enough men would be suicide anyway. Those subhuman creatures were still fierce warriors.

So, instead, he Apparated to Cyrus Greengrass' manor, alone, to find the man still awake in his study, nursing a tumbler of brandy. Lord Greengrass, rather insolently, remarked "I expected your arrival, but in future, _Voldemort_ , kindly knock."

Voldemort sat down opposite Cyrus, allowing the blonde man to play his insipid little game. "I am the most powerful wizard in the world. I refuse to knock. Now, what did you do to the marriage contracts? After all, you just robbed your family of a future."

Cyrus had the temerity to laugh. "I did nothing. Though if what I suspect Daphne to have done is correct, I have just _assured_ my family's future!"

As tempting as it was to cast a Cruciatus and be done with it, Voldemort wanted information. And as a master Legilimens, he could get it with ease. So he tore into Cyrus' mind, trying to find it, only to realise that the man was more canny than he thought, a brilliant Occlumens. It was aggravating more than admirable, but the admiration, reluctant though it was, was there. In the process, he was going to cause enough damage to Greengrass' mind to effectively cause a stroke. Out of spite for thwarting him. He would have preferred a round of a Cruciatus Curse, followed up by a Killing Curse, but he was pressed for time, and wanted to avoid leaving any evidence of his presence.

The only thing he got out of Greengrass' mind, though, was that his eldest had tried to summon an eldritch entity. _You little imbecile_ , Voldemort sneered inwardly. _You'll wish to have been married to Malfoy's spawn by the time it's done with you_.

He tore Greengrass' mind apart from the inside out. He remembered a memory that he had gleaned from Quirrell's mind back when he was possessing him, of a movie called _Alien_ , of a monster tearing out of a man who resembled a younger Ollivander's chest(1). It felt like he was doing that to Greengrass' mind.

And after he was done, Greengrass was slumped in his chair, a darkening patch at his groin showing that death had given him one last indignity. Voldemort then decided to loot the place, before torching the place. No Dark Mark, just an unfortunate accident where Greengrass had a stroke, and a log rolled out of the fireplace.

Still, a small part of him worried. Because if Greengrass' whelps had managed to gain the favour of an Outer God, unlikely though that was, it might be difficult. But he had that contract with Yig, a contract that, thanks to the Horcruxes, he wouldn't ever have to fulfil.

Right?

 **CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Oh dear. Well, we've got Daphne being brought into the fold, and Voldemort having a hissy fit.**

 **Review-answering time! I didn't know the thing I quoted from Gregg Landsman's work was actually a paraphrase of a** ** _Warhammer 40K_** **phrase. I'll be honest, my only familiarity with that franchise is with the Ciaphas Cain novels.**

 **DZ2** **: Nah, Lily isn't quite that evil to inflict that on her son…yet. Seriously, as much as I love the song, I think it's been ridiculously overused.**

 **Blackholelord** **: Another crossover with** ** _High School DxD_** **by me is on the cards, but it's having a rather troubled genesis, and it won't have that plot.**

 **DustBunnyQueen** **: That was the joke. It basically had Lilylathotep trolling the hell out of Disneyland…but doing something nice for the poor bastards stuck in the costumes.**

 **1\. Ollivander and the Xenomorphs' first victim (in terms of cinematic release) Kane are, of course, both played by the late, great John Hurt.**


End file.
